The Emperor and I
by blueroseulan
Summary: UPDATED! EPILOGUE UP!The emperor of Japan falls in love with a mere commoner. What happens when he is forced to betray her and she marries someone else?
1. Chapter 1: Passion in Betrayal

Fanfic by Blueroseulan

April 8,2005

Standard Disclaimers apply!

Please review!

_Chapter 1: Betrayal_

_The moon was at its peak as it's golden like rays touched the gloomy hills positioned carefully by mother nature herself. Providing much of an illumination for the man of the night, as far as poets could say, the lighted fixture in the sky would never really miss anything happening in the vast lands below._

_A cloaked figure struggled to remain afoot while climbing one of the steepest parts of the hill. Almost comically slipping the person scrambled to get on top, knowing that a certain one was waiting._

_"You're late, what took you so long?"_

_Kamiya Kaoru regarded the speaker with less cared grace accompanied by a huff and the raising of a delicate brow._

_"Is that the kind of welcome you'd give after seeing me climb here on top?"_

_The man laughed, a deep masculine sound erupting from the far corners of his throat. "I always knew climbing wasn't a forte of yours."_

_Somewhat akin of a pout formed into her lips. "Took you long enough to figure that out." she replied with much sarcasm._

_Again he smiled, this time friendly and a bit regretful. Giving her hand, he straightened her cloak and touched her hair to put it back into place._

_"Is that the way you treat the next most powerful man in the land?" he asked his tone lacking vile and irritation. Instead, it was gentle and amused. A small smile touched her lips before she absent mindedly pushed a stray hair back firmly behind her ears. "You always were a bit too familiar with the fact that I can never be too prim and proper in front of anybody milord." she remarked, tone sardonic and derisive._

_"And I love you for that." he answered smoothly before closing in to embrace her lithe form. At once, her mock anger faithfully dissipated into bubbles and she had to sigh, leaning into his muscular shoulder and wrapping her arms tighter around his form._

_"Himura Kenshin, I can never get over the fact that you are such a sweet talker."_

_He smiled, his lips buried in the deep fall of her ebony tresses. He was glad, so damned glad to have her in his arms again. In a hill far more secluded than his soldiers would ever think of. Where both of them were away with the hustle and bustle in the palace, away with manners and teachers who bugged your ears till you fell asleep. Away from piercing eyes of every hypocrite that misjudged the woman he had loved for so long. He gave a sigh of relief. Yes, he was so goddamned glad about that._

_"I missed you." she murmured in his ears, lips sending delicious tingles down in his spine._

_"Sorry... I have so many things to do... so many lessons to learn.." he apologized by stroking her hair and gazing at her face, wanting her to see that he was genuinely regretful._

_She understood... she always did... after all; he would become the next emperor of Japan in a matter of time. Of course he had so many things to do! There were manners to be learned, names and lives of other blue blooded relatives to decode, an army to serve... and oh! There were so many many things he should do! Yet here he was, snuggled beside her, inside her warm tight embrace. Kamiya Kaoru couldn't help but feel guilty... it was like she was stealing his time when he should be out there carrying out his orders dutifully just like any prince would... but again and again... here he was beside her..._

_"What's the matter koi?" he asked tender fingers lightly tilting her chin to gaze at her azure orbs tinged with sadness._

_She told him... or rather was forced to tell him after being badgered consistently by that wise little mouth of his. She told him about everything she felt ever since their hidden relationship started, the guilt and the culpability she felt for snagging his precious time. He was sober for a minute and she was terrified the man would call it quits... Blameworthy she was, breaking off with the man she terribly loved was the least she wanted. The fact scared her more than ever and it was enough to cause tears in her eyes._

_Noticing the glint of wetness fall in her cheeks, he lifted a thumb to carefully wipe the dampness off her lovely face._

_"Kaoru..."he murmured, glad to have her attention," Don't think of that...I wouldn't have come for you if I knew you were just wasting my time... You know me... Know me more than anyone and you are also aware that you're the only one I indulge myself in... So don't you feel guilty about this... about us... because it's the only escape I have... I've ever had...I would have gone mad with all of Ttakeda-san's teachings without you as a lovely distraction... the man's a genius I tell you! He's going to drive me crazy as far as he can so there!" he added to lighten her mood._

_And lighten it did for she smiled at his last comment. True, she knew him inside out. Knew how he reacted to things, knew how he felt, what he thought. And while he could be so much a lovable person with her, she knew that from the very start, he wasn't a man to be messed up with. He was gentle to her, soft spoken and patient, but not to others. 'Especially to the lazy ones.' she thought grimly. And while he was gentle and calm with her, it did not escape her notice that Kenshin Himura was a different man when it came to others. He was cool, unnerving and not a man to duel with. He was trained far too well and had been able to master the Hiten Mitsurugi ougi under his sensei Hiko Seijurou that his skills were by far unsurpassed. he was kind to the townspeople and never did he become a snub in the society, but when it came down to his men and his starting army, she knew the prince could be one hell of an asshole._

_He saw the starting smile slowly blossoming in her lips. Delighted to have shared the burden, once again, he wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace, almost crushing her._

_"Kaoru... Kamiya Kaoru..."_

_"Hmm...?"_

_He closed his eyes, savoring the moment, the feel of her hair in his face, memorizing the jasmine scent she carried._

"_I love you... I swear to the gods I love you... You are mine... always and forever... Mine koi... mine..."_

_She smiled, recognizing the need in his voice, the desperation he felt and she touched her lips against his softly managing to murmur before desire and want overcame his as he devoured her lips with a soul searing kiss._

_"I know..."_

_**CRASH!**_

He winced as the sudden shattering of his wine glass reverberated in the large four corners of his own bedroom. Far too occupied, he had failed to notice that the material had been dangerously tipping off his wooden desk and had fallen to stain his oriental rug with the color of wine. Sighing, he made a mental note to ask one of his servants to clean it up before he went to sleep.

_It was such a night like this... when the moon was full..._

He closed his eyes, taking a sharp inhalation of breath. Ah... memories... They always seem to bug you in the most inconvenient of times don't they? Shaking his head, he continued to gaze at his wide curtained window. His amber eyes, softly aglow mirrored the vast land scattered with high and low hills high lighted with the eerie glow of the moonlight...

_Such a night like this..._

_Such a night like this..._

It had been a couple of months since his coronation had come and gone. After his father had retired in a ripe age, Kenshin Himura found the power given to him to govern the whole country of Japan.

The power was staggering.

It was a hard duty. He had known it ever since he became prince. Not such an easy task to be given to a lazy ill witted fellow. His country needed reforms, changes and the structural community wouldn't allow it... It was so hard to convince the people to stop clinging to the old traditional ways of life. What they needed was change, civilization and he was just to bring about that. It was a hard job really, and it was only one of those that gave him headaches every night. He had always known his father bade his job well. It was only now; now that he was throned did he realize that the last emperor of the land left so many loose ends.

There were people to be fed, a whole cabinet to establish, an army to train, structures to be put up, and education to be improved... So many things and yet so little resources he had...

But aside those problems, the obstacles and the headaches to be overcome, even he could not deny that being an emperor was still a job with many benefits.

Money.

Land.

Power.

Women.

Everything... as far as his eyes could see... was his. From everything to everyone... it all belonged to him. He had fame, wealth and riches, and though he tried not to live in luxury, an emperor was entitled to live in one. Money poured in his fingers as fast as three fingers ticking off. Women were practically begging to have him as their own husband, power was in no question.

But still, why wasnt he happy?

Again, looking at the fully lit moon and the rolling hills presented into his eyes, he was faced with yet another painful truth and reality of his life

He wasn't happy because he didn't have her.

The one thing he most wanted, one person he most cherished and loved, he didn't have.

Closing his eyes in an attempt to forget her sweet smiling face, he tried to erase her, to clear his fogged up mind with the vivid memories that still ran loose.

_It was yet another time when the moon was full. Everything was quite the same, with the location and the scenery... all, but the message he would be belaying her._

_"I'm leaving..."_

_Lapis lazuli eyes quick to stare at his hunched form, there was no denying the terrified look she carried in her delicate face._

_"wh-What?"_

_It was painful... too painful to even look at her straight in the eye, but Kenshin knew telling the truth was better... rather than telling her a white lie._

_"Wh..where are you going?" she asked, her tone alarmingly soft and breath-like._

_"To England..." he answered in a tone very much like hers._

_"England! But that's so very far away!" Tears had started to slip out of her expressive eyes. Once, twice, streaming._

_He cursed inwardly, he was helpless and there was nothing he could do about the situation. The king had ordered him to be shipped in the said land so he could train and hone his other skills in fighting, though carrying a heavy heart, he knew better than to disobey his father's will._

_"How- how long will you be gone?" she asked voice meek and small that it broke his heart._

_"Fo-for... a long time..." he managed to reply, his statement uncertain and questioning._

_That was enough. Truly enough to send her knees collapsing to the ground and making her look like a piled heap of bones convulsing to the ground. Though he tried to pacify her, to assure her, she could not be comforted and she continued to weep._

Her sobs still rung heavily in his ears like an old record gone wrong. In the dark of the night, where he lay wide awake alone in his bed, he could swear he could still hear her low moans of weeping and torment... That perhaps was the main reason for his goddamned headache when he woke up in the morning. Hearing his horses being mounted back to the stables, once again, his mind lurched itself back into a flash back.

_They were about to depart, with almost half of his army accompanying him and the king towards the ship he would be riding towards England. It would take many a week to get there and many a month for him to master everything that will be taught to him. He sighed; disagreeing was never his option was it?_

_As the captain shouted the signal, horses started to walk in a steady trot, their hooves going clip-clop-clip-clop against the hard stone of the floor. His horse, Midori, was beginning to follow the others when he heard a loud shrill scream that belonged to no one else but hers._

_Kaoru._

_"**KENSHIN!"**_

_He swerved his horse back, almost jerking himself off his seat as he desperately craned his neck to find her face. Guards had already closed their large circle, their main reason were to protect the king and the prince._

_"Kaoru..."_

_They had seized her just about as she was lunging her form desperately towards him. Heavy iron-like grips that had gripped her arm forcefully had prevented her from nearing him in even a ten meter distance. She was screaming his name and her face was crumpled into a pitiful form. 'So far... so far from the beautiful face I remember...' he thought. He could see that she was struggling, struggling to free her arm from their tight grasp and reach him. It was impossible though, what with their hold in her body._

_She would have collapsed, would have suffered many blows from the palace samurais had it not been the swift strict order coming from none other than the prince himself._

_"STOP."  
_

_At once, they did._

_"TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF HER."_

_Again, they did._

_Allowing Midori to canter next to her, he jumped down, as soon as he reached her and swarmed off the growing crowd that had started to immense themselves with the racket that had just formed. Nearing her, he watched the display of emotions in her face as she raised her tearful, dirt smeared eyes on him. He could swear he saw happiness and relief--before--_

_Before they were all at once changed into surprise, anger and into betrayal with what he had done, for he did nothing but stoop down in her level, helped her to her feet and pat her hair as if she was just a mere girl set about from a good telling off. Eyes turning into hard furious cobalt, angry tears began to well themselves from her orbs and slip past into her face. She was just about to say something when he turned his heel against her and simply walked away, leaving her stunned and feeling betrayed._

It almost seemed to him that the mirror reflected her face, and not his own when he gave a look at it. Even at this time... no amount of distance or time could replace the drilling image his mind had remembered ever since his departure. A mixture of hate, anger, betrayal and pain was not just merely reflected by her pale ashened face, her eyes spoke volumes and even until now, he couldn't stop blaming and indeed cursing himself for doing what he had done in public. He was ashamed, yes, and he was a coward. As time passed, he couldn't help but still ask himself why he had done that kind of thing... that kind of gesture… He should have hugged her, kissed her, and assured her that everything would soon be all right after he had gone back. He must have had touched her face, savored the feel of her lips against his before he went away and then probably, he wouldn't be standing alone in his bedroom right now. He couldn't help but ask himself if his action reflected his embarrassment. The emotion that stemmed with the fact that Kamiya Kaoru, the woman the next emperor of Japan had so dearly loved-- was nothing but just a mere commoner. A poor orphan who spun thread for a living. Was he ashamed of her? Ashamed of her lack of royalties? Nobilities? Did he do such a thing because she carried no robes? No horses? No maids?

_No..._

Then why?

Why indeed.

Was he afraid of what his father would say? How people would react once they knew his relationship with the girl existed? Would they disapprove him as next emperor if they knew the truth?

_No..._

Then why?

Why indeed.

Shaking his head he almost let out a laugh, finding humor twisted with irony and sarcasm, anger and regret. _It would be of no use now... No use in wallowing here in self regret and anger... no use...I'm too late... too late to claim her as mine... too late... DAMN you Himura for being fucking too late..._

So much carried was he that he never realized the feel of wet films tracing light paths over his time worn cheeks and over his scar. Nor did the pain register in his mind when he slammed his fist hard against the wall powerful enough to create a dent in it. Everything was unfelt... everything was ignored, except for the memory that had painfully presented itself on the man's irrationalized mind.

_From the first time Yukishiro Enishi had stepped in his court not more than two months ago, Kenshin instantly recognized him as an opponent or a rival when it came to opinions and point of views, but also in strength and skill. The man carried an air of arrogance, pride and vanity that Kenshin knew would soon grate on his own nerves. But still, the man certainly had one of the highest positions in his army and he was forced to respect him in some degree._

Gulping down his wine, he waited till it made his head light and dizzy before he leaned his head on the strong hard rest of his bed. Anger soon began to well up on his senses again, no longer washed away by the sharp jutting feel of wine. It was now, only now did he once again the maddening fury he had once felt. **_Damn you Enishi... GODDAMN YOU! You stole her from me... you stole what was mine..._**

_His marriage announcement came as no surprise, for everyone knew that Yukishiro Enishi was a womanizer. Though many felt disgusted by his presence in the army, skill and strength compelled them to abide the rules. Power could do that you know._

_It was the **woman **he was marrying that made him bewildered, astounded, astonished enraged, maddened and whatever emotions of the like surge hard and deep into his chest, lunging straightforward to his heart._

_Sake and wine had the soldiers tipsy and in for some good food even before Enishi had presented his bride. For respect and honour, he had also invited Kenshin--now the official emperor of Japan to the celebration and he had willingly accepted it, glad to find a distraction amidst work and paper._

_But nothing could have prepared him with the sight he saw upon the presentation of Yukishiro Enishi's wife._

_There, walking gracefully and fluidly was a woman dressed in ethereal white, face covered by a light veil. She was beautiful, he could tell and he inwardly jeered Enishi as a man with good luck to find such a beautiful woman. Everyone cheered and roared compliments as she stepped up beside him and waited patiently for him to uncover the veil._

_Shock, horror and surprised dawned on the face of the young emperor as he recognized the smooth soft face the veil concealed._

_It was her..._

_"Gentlemen... your highness... I would like to present to you... Kamiya Kaoru... soon to be Yukishiro Kaoru."_

Clamping his eyes shut with anger, he remembered the felt shock, stupor, the maddening rage that had consumed him all too much and had prevented him from finishing the party. He recalled the betrayal he felt and how quickly she avoided and dodged the smoldering gazes he sent in her way. Animosity had been quick to build inside his heart, as it was now and as palms balled into fists, he cursed himself, inwardly and loudly for letting go of something that truly belonged to him.

_**"CURSE YOU HIMURA FOR LETTING GO OF HER! GODDAMNNIT YUKISHIRO FOR SNATCHING WHAT IS MINE! I SWEAR! I'M GOING TO GET HER BACK! I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL! SHE'S MINE AND I'LL GET WHATEVER BELONGS TO ME!"**_

End of chapter 1…

**What to do you think of it? Angsty? Too much? Please review… please no more flames…**


	2. Chapter 2: A Chance Meeting

_**Hey, it's me again… standard disclaimers apply!**_

_**Now on with the fic!**_

_**Previously: **_

_Clamping his eyes shut with anger, he remembered the felt shock, stupor, the maddening rage that had consumed him all too much and had prevented him from finishing the party. He recalled the betrayal he felt and how quickly she avoided and dodged the smoldering gazes he sent in her way. Animosity had been quick to build inside his heart, as it was now and as palms balled into fists, he cursed himself, inwardly and loudly for letting go of something that truly belonged to him._

_**"CURSE YOU HIMURA FOR LETTING GO OF HER! GODDAMNNIT YUKISHIRO FOR SNATCHING WHAT IS MINE! I SWEAR! I'M GOING TO GET HER BACK! I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL! SHE'S MINE AND I'LL GET WHATEVER BELONGS TO ME!"**_

_**Chapter 2: A Chance Meeting**_

_"Even in the dark, my garden seems so beautiful..."_ She thought as she silently stood outside the house, watching her flowers bloom on its own with her keen practiced eye. Gardening had been long since it had become a favorite hobby of hers. Strolling deliberately to touch the blooming honeysuckles, somewhat akin to a bittersweet smile spread on her face.

_"Married life has changed me... changed me so much..." she_ remembered eyes filling with invisible tears as regret and sadness flashed on to her lovely face.

"_What had happened? What had happened to me? To Kamiya Kaoru?"_

Trailing off from her thoughts, she came upon the small pond Enishi had constructed for her. Peering at her own silvery reflection rippling gently on the cool water, her thoughts turned dark as a pale hand crept to touch the now bruised face of hers.

_"What happened? Kaoru... What happened to Kamiya Kaoru? All I see now is a mere soul enclosed in a body... there is no longer a soul inside... no more fire burning... What happened?_

She skimmed her fingers gently against her skin; eyes fluttering close with every single remembered slap, pinch, bruise and beating she took. His hands seemed to beat her again, making tears stream down her cheeks. Never in her whole life did Kamiya Kaoru ever think of having her life ending this way. Never did she think that she would only be reduced to a mere weak woman... never...

For the truth remains that Kamiya Kaoru was a battered wife...

It almost seemed so surreal to her... the magic fading even after only two weeks. The marriage bliss Enishi had dived into was now waning, and the man was now resurfacing into his old persona. She was more than shocked to say when he laid his hand on her face the first time she took a beating. She was numbed, shocked and then enraged. Never in her whole life had anyone hurt her more than how he battered her. He was such a hard man to please. In fact, he never seemed pleased with anything other than her body as she would like to think so.

_His hold against the cuff of her yukata was deathly tight even as she struggled desperately to get out of his grasp. Even now, her husband reeked still of sake and she knew that whenever Enishi gets drunk, he could do a hell lot of things to her._

_His lips were hard and course against her flesh and she cried to get away. Still rough hands pushed itself, fondling against her chest as Kaoru tried to shy away, not wanting to permit him to touch her. But he was stronger than her. Much much stronger and she couldn't get him off. He was slurring words in her ears, yet she understood none of those. It seemed that both of them had turned deaf. She to Enishi's praising, and he, to her pleas._

_His fingers shot out to touch her, His gentleness and tenderness far gone and replaced only by animalistic lust and need as he pushed himself inside her, heedless of her sudden cries and writhing in pain. Her energy was fast drowning as she struggled to get away from his grasp and pull her own body back. Kami-sama! This wasn't love, this was rape! Oh for crying out loud!_

_He didn't stop--never stopped until his need had been fulfilled and he lay on the bed, drunk and snoring, unaware of his nudity or hers. Her strength had deserted her, as well as sleep and she only found herself curling miserably in a tight ball, her back against him, with angry tears slipping past her face._

She suddenly shuddered at the memory, her action reflected by the gentle sway of movement across the watery surface. How many times has it happened? How many times still? She wasn't used to this kind of treatment--and never will she be used to it. She hated him, hated him towards the ends of her guts. It was only for propriety and for honor that she still stayed.

_**BLAG!**_

Her head snapped at once when the loud banging of their door reverberated into her ears. Fear had again started to settle on her nerves, panic gripping the edge of her heart.

_He's here…_

His stench was more than enough to let her know that her husband was once again drunk. The knowledge of having her body ravaged and used by that animal made her blood run cold and her instinct to run strengthen.

_No … not tonight or anytime else… I won't allow this… NO…. NEVER! Never again!_

Keeping fear from eating her whole, she started towards the back door where she knew there was a mean of escape.

"_God no… I won't allow this anymore Enishi… goddamn you… I'm leaving you now and never to return…."_

Clutching the hems of her kimono to keep her from stumbling to the ground, she had started to make a run from him when her body caught into something.

_**CRASH!**_

Horrid realization dawned on her when she felt, rather than saw the broken shards of glass scattered around her. In her haste to escape, she didn't notice the large jar that had blocked her path and had eventually staggered on it.

"_**What the HELL was that!Kisama!"**_

Sapphire eyes widening, she began to collect herself fully intending to run before her husband could catch up. But that was not so for in the corner of her eye, she saw his lanky built stumble just underneath the door beam of the kitchen.

"**_You BITCH! You're trying to escape now aren't you!"_**

His voice was slurred yet his tone had made fear run cold in her blood. She could feel it, with every press of her pulse, with every beat of her heart. Fear and trepidation had her trapped. Yet, she knew if she did not escape now, she will never can. It was now or never.

_Run Kaoru! Run!_

And she did. Trying to ignore the fact that he had also took off behind her.

"Hey! Hey! Where you going Kenshin?"

The hooded cloaked figure seemed to fall on his feet while his mouth had started of with a string of 'oros'. After regaining his composure, the emperor looked up with guilt-filled eyes on Sanosuke, one of his most faithful fighters.

"Escaping again now, aren't yah?"

He almost winced. Though he was now the emperor, Sagara Sanosuke certainly didn't treat him as one. He could have had the man's head off with that, but he couldn't, he wouldn't. For Sano was his best friend. He knew all about the emperor and the fact that Kenshin left almost every night didn't escape the notice of the fighter.

He nodded, scratching the back of his head when a victorious look had been plastered on Sanosuke's face.

"HAH! I knew it! I just knew it! You've been thinkin' 'bout her again aren't ya'? Hah! I knew it!"

_Now_ he winced. Hell, even Sanosuke knew about Kaoru and about his anger directed towards the man she had decided to marry. But the facts stopped at that. Not a single soul knew of any of these except for the fighter.

"Oh well…Good luck…T'nite's be'n easy for yah…." The man muttered as he chugged down the bottle of sake he held in his hand. Nodding in acknowledgement, the red head slipped into the shadows of the night. Form swallowed by the darkness.

_**RUN KAORU! RUN! RUN! AND NEVER DARE LOOK BACK!**_

A hand desperately clutched the fabric at her chest as her breast panted in heavy breaths. She had managed to dodge away from him in the nick of time and had been able to hide in one of the dark alleys of a street. Trying hard to catch her breathe, she had done only a few more so when she felt fear instilled in her senses. Her own instinct was to run, and run she did. Though she never looked back to see if Enishi was coming for her or not. Her feet just kept running, her hair flying in the wind and her face stamped with trepidation.

_I must do this! I must run for my life! If Enishi catches me, I'm so well as dead1 Kami-sama! Save me! SAVE ME ONEGAISHIMASU!_

_**OOMMPHHF!**_

So distracted was she with the thought of being caught that she didn't see another person coming towards her direction or the fact that he was really near her speeding form. Though flabbergasted as she was, she couldn't help herself from clutching the man's thick cloak that had concealed his face.

"Onegai! Tasukete! Tasukete Onegai! Please…Please help me! Someone is after me! I beg of you… please help me!"

The fear, the alarm, the dexterity and even the relief she felt to find someone was all too much for Kaoru that no sooner had she asked the person for help did she collapse in a heap in the ground, breath erratic and face troubled.

To say that Himura Kenshin was shocked would be a total understatement. He was surprised, astonished and yes, very enraged. Who was her attacker? Who had wanted to hurt her? _They will pay…_ He thought, eyes turning into a deadly shade of amber as he scooped her frail form and deposited her in his arms.

End of chapter 2

**There… they've met! Dun dun dun… hehehe… I feel so evil… anyways.. please don't forget to review before moving onto the next chapter!**

**JA!**


	3. Chapter 3: Answers in Reflection

Author's Notes:

Ooops, I forgot to remind ya'll readers to please review! Anyways, just do… I wont be updating 'til I'm satisfied with the number of reviews… Hey… it's pretty motivating you know…oh…so much for my blahs and blahs… on with the fic!

_Previously:_

"_Onegai! Tasukete! Tasukete Onegai! Please…Please help me! Someone is after me! I beg of you… please help me!" _

_The fear, the alarm, the dexterity and even the relief she felt to find someone was all too much for Kaoru that no sooner had she asked the person for help did she collapse in a heap in the ground, breath erratic and face troubled._

_To say that Himura Kenshin was shocked would be a total understatement. He was surprised, astonished and yes, very enraged. Who was her attacker? Who had wanted to hurt her? They will pay… He thought, eyes turning into a deadly shade of amber as he scooped her frail form and deposited her in his arms. _

_**Chapter 3: Answers**_

He faithfully kept watch by her side the whole night. Trusting only Megumi's skillful hands and sworn secrecy, he had allowed the doctor to treat and clean her wounds after he had gotten back to the Imperial palace. The lady doctor had long since been a childhood friend of his and since he still had no plans in making everyone know about Kaoru whatsoever, he knew that Megumi would understand and would grant his request to treat the woman he brought home.

She did.

The doctor's verdict was enough to make blood boil in his senses. The bruises, the scars, the wounds… everything led to one naked truth.

Kamiya Kaoru, the woman he had loved all these time, has been a battered wife.

Had Megumi not calmed him and pacified him, he would have gone straight into Enishi's house and had his head sliced off. But killing him would be far too easy. He wanted to kill him, have him live again, then so he could kill Yukishiro Enishi again. The one person who had hurt the woman he most treasured. But the doctor convinced him that it would be all too frightening for a mere commoner to wake up suddenly inside the imperial palace itself.

Now, he couldn't believe how in some weird twist of fate, she had ended up literally in his arms and he was now again with the woman he had loved for so long. Yet something inside him warned him that her reaction might not be all too perfect for their situation. She might do some other…things that will definitely hurt him. But Kenshin would rather not think of that now. He just wanted to celebrate the fact that she was now lying in his bed, in his room, away from any harm that might befall her.

The emperor had never been so happy or so nervous in his whole entire life.

'_This…this is the emptiness I had once felt… Kaoru…you're the one who could fill me... my soul… my spirit…no amount of riches or power could surpass you…Nothing…you're my happiness… But…I wonder…would you be happy to see me too? Would you accept me? Or am I being rejected? No…I cannot and will not accept that…You are mine Kaoru…MINE…and no one could change that fact…_

A murderous glint flashed in his eyes before immediately disappearing beneath cool amethyst orbs when he caught sight of a slight movement below the sheets.

At once, he was clutching her hand, wanting so very much to see her open her lapis lazuli eyes and to be able to gaze at them till he knew his own soul drowned. He yearned for her, wanted her like no other _And I will have her…she is MINE_

Slowly, like an angel slowly stirring from a light slumber, her eyes began to flutter open, sapphire orbs, hazy with sleep, gleaming with the light.

"Where…where am I?..Ugh! Kami-sama… my head hurts!" she exclaimed trying to get up but merely jumping a good twenty feet off the air when she saw the redhead, who was none other than the emperor itself , sitting casually beside her.

"**_KAMI-SAMA!" _**

Had it been any other situation, Himura Kenshin might have laughed his wicked ass off with the comical expression splattered on her face. But moral ethics and propriety prevented him and instead, he found himself nearing her trembling form in an effort to calm her down.

Which was not so…

"**_DON'T TOUCH ME! WHY AM I HERE! WHAT AM I DOING HERE!"_** She honestly seemed to forget that she was talking to none other than the emperor himself, or the fact that it was well past midnight and her screeching might have been enough to let zombies roam around the outskirts of Japan.

"Do please calm down… first of all, I would like to reassure you that you're now out of danger. And that no harm would be likely to befall you inside the palace moreover in my room." He started in an attempt to calm her nerves down.

A delicate eyeball rose to look at him indignantly in the face. **"Why did you bring me here? Why am I here?"**

A gentle smile curved in his face while he sat beside his bed on a large chair. Her reaction was not what he had expected. Or maybe, that was yet to come. Whatever, he wanted to win her trust back which was not an over confidently thing to do so.

"You seem to forget Kaoru that you bumped into me in the streets. You asked for help, told me that someone was after you, and then fainted. I had no choice but to bring you in the palace." Wincing at the term 'bumped' he thought 'crashed' might be a better term but decided against it.

Watching as her face scrunched in recollection, sapphire eyes widened with the sudden filter of memories that came rushing back in her mind. And then, before both of them knew it, there was a thick kind of tension in the room.

_What do I say?_ She thought as she felt heat creep into her cheeks. _What do I say to this man? I'm afraid that if I start… I might not hold back at all… Oh good lord! Why me?_

"Kaoru."

His voice had her head snapping back up.

"You've been hurt."

A look of denial flashed in her face while she desperately tried to think of something to say.

"By Enishi."

A sickening horror lurched itself on her stomach as realization dawned on her comprehension. She knew that voice. That tone he used when he was infuriatingly mad. Strong… but somehow soft, smooth…calm with the edge of glaring steel.

"I…Kenshin…I mean your highness…It's not what you think…" she stammered, suddenly becoming painfully aware of the fact that she was talking to the most powerful man in Japan. "I…"

"Don't try to lie to me."

_He's mad…._she knew he was… and yet, there was nothing she could do…. Nothing she could even think…Her mind had suddenly turned completely blank. There were so many things she had wanted to say, but nothing would come out. Only a string of idiocrasy and not the truth she had really wanted to bare. A strange sensation had once again started to spread on her chest. The one she felt when she was only with him… she never felt it with Enishi…. And never knew she would experience it again…. She thought her feelings for the red haired man had abated. Along with her dreams of becoming free from the tight rein of her brute of a husband and yet…here she was…feeling helpless with just one look of him…

"_Why…"_

Her softly spoken question caught him off guard. Her face held no emotion. Blank. This was not what he had wanted. He wanted to be _wanted._ Not questioned. He was unsure of what she felt. For even her tone lacked of life.

"_Why…Kenshin?"_

Her eyes had become glassy orbs. Tears threatening to fall on the paleness of her cheek. Her lips slightly trembled and he had to fight the urge to wrap his arms around her form and never let go.

"I…Kaoru…" he was speechless. What was there left to say? So many times has passed their grasp. His leave for England and her marriage, these…all of these had all become obstacles in the web.

"_Up to now…I never understood you…" _she almost murmured, words trailing off as her face showed no emotions. She was like in a trance; he rationalized as he sought to know whatever she was feeling. Yet her words struck him hard. He wasn't an idiot not to know that what she meant was his behavior when she said goodbye. _But how could I answer that…when I myself don't know why?_

"_I Never forgot that Kenshin… how it felt to be treated that way… how it felt to be betrayed… feeling as if every declaration of your love evaporate like acid in my chest…"_

By now, angry tears had begun to seep out from her eyes. Her face, before devoid with emotions was now filled with anger. She was visibly trembling and her hands were balled into fist.

"_I was furious…I was mad…I was over myself in despair… All this time you've been lying to me…Telling me how much you love me… and yet…**YOU NEVER DID!"**_

"**_NO!_**" He argued, trying to explain his part. "Kaoru…I've always loved you…"

"**_LOVED ME! After all these…shit… you just say you love me! NO WAY IN HELL KENSHIN! YOU"RE A LIAR! AND YOU DON'T BLAME ME FOR CALLING YOU THAT FOR YOU'RE ONE!"_**

"**Kaoru…" **he warned, trying to control his temper that was fastly climbing on top. But before he could say something more, she cut his words, with her own, knuckles turning white while clutching the hem of her kimono in anger and infuriation.

"**_You never knew Kenshin… how hard it was for me… My world revolved around you… I lived for you! I gave you everything I had… and yet… this was what I got…Did you not know, that I married that bastard because of you Kenshin?" _**Hearing him gasp, she continued, "**_yes. I DID marry him because of you. Even after so many years had gone by… even if you were still in England and I knew that you could be happily engaged right there and then, I still thought of you, dreamt of you, I still wanted you Kenshin… even after what you did to me… people had been so concerned about me… that they thought marriage was the only resort they could turn to for me not to get totally insane. And THEN Enishi came into the picture. Everybody said we were a striking pair. He fell in love with me and asked me to marry him. Did I have a choice? Well guess what Kenshin, I never had one. I NEVER HAD ONE BECAUSE I KNEW I'D DIE BECAUSE OF YOU IF I DIDN'T MARRY HIM!_**

She was shaking, trembling, sobbing uncontrollably as she buried her face in the callous of her palms. Her inky jet locks sharply contrasted with the paleness of her skin and she looked so frail and fragile. Her words… her words had arrowed straight into his heart, making him see the crashing truth that it was his entire fault why she had suffered. Everything was his fault… Everything…

"Kaoru…"he started, unable to comprehend what to say. _All I want to do is touch her… hold her… but am I prohibited from this? Why? Why do we have to suffer so much?_

"Kaoru…Kaoru…oh Kaoru I'm so so sorry…"

In a flash, she had raised her head up, angry tears dripping towards her chin.

"**_SORRY? THAT'S ALL YOU'RE SAYING KENSHIN? THAT YOU'RE SORRY? WELL I DON'T FU ING CARE IF YOU ARE! YOU COULD TAKE THAT HELL OF YOU OUT BECAUSE YOU'RE CRAPPY SORRY WOULDN'T MEAN ANYTHING KENSHIN! IT WOULDN'T ERASE ANYTHING! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ME! TO SEE MY OWN SOUL…DYING LIKE A CANDLE IN THE FLAME… HOW BRUTAL ENISHI COULD BE WHEN HE'S DRUNK… HOW HE HURTS ME… HOW HE SLAPS ME AND RAPES ME WHENEVER HE LIKES… TO FEEL LIKE A PUPPET… A MANIPULATED DOLL… THAT FUCKING ASHOLE! THAT..."_**

As if her words weren't enough, Kaoru had begun to claw on her skin, nails leaving angry red marks on the surface. It seemed for Kenshin that the woman wasn't speaking to him anymore… More like it was slowly becoming an outlet for her anger and if he didn't stop she might continue to further hurt herself…

"Kaoru…Kaoru! Kaoru Kami! Please stop! You're hurting yourself! Stop it!" She was hysterical and when his words fell on empty ears, he decided to take matters on his own hands. Gently, but firmly, he tried to catch her in a tight embrace to prevent her from hurting herself even more. She fought his touch, slapping, and striking him in an effort to put distance between his body and hers. Yet his arms were like steel metals clamped on her arms and finally, her strength deserted her and she collapsed in a sobbing form in his embrace, arms tentatively slipping to clutch him closer.

When he felt her collapse in his embrace, he knew the worst part was over. The dam broken, she was sobbing heavily while her hands gripped his gi tightly. Now he knew, now he was sure, that she still wanted him. That she could not reject him and that somehow she still loved him. Her touch had been enough. The way she had so desperately clung to him made him wrap his arms around her and feel overjoyed about their union. She had never felt this good. He thought. Her skin, her touch…even her scent…. This was all for real.

"_I thought…" _he murmured, a lump somehow constricting at the back of his throat making his voice scratchy "_That it will only be in my dreams that I can touch you again… I thought this may never happen again… that I may never touch you… hold you and treasure you like this…"_ his words somehow made her grip his gi tighter, searching for him, wanting to hold him as close as impossible as could be. Neither wanted to let go. Neither really wanted to let go.

"K_aoru… you have no idea… how sorry I am… knowing that it has been my fault that you have suffered… I will forever carry this in my heart… and I know that saying these words will not erase anything…but…. I want you to know … that you've never left my heart… that wherever I go… in some faraway place or another… you're still here…" _he pointed on the right area of his chest. _"And,"_ he added, "_Do remember that… I'm never going to trade you for any English girl I'd ever meet…"_

She gasped, tears finally stopping. Only the good lord knew how happy she was right now… how relieved she felt to know that he had never loved another for that had become her greatest fear yet. "Kenshin…" she murmured, facing him and gazing at his amethyst eyes. Her anger seemed to dissipate, seemed to have not existed… Now, the only emotion she felt was the all consuming love she had always bore for him.

"_I love you Kaoru… I always had… and I'll always will…" _he whispered in her ear. Lips slowly moving to kiss one brow and the other, proceeding to touch her nose, her chin and finally, settled softly on her delicate lips. Praying that she won't reject him, imagine the euphoria he had when he felt her kissing him back. Slowly, cautiously until finally, she seemed to be drinking his lips as much as he was on hers. The love, the forgiveness, the regret… everything was erased with that one soul searing kiss they had. It was a bridge of some sort. A bridge for long lost emotions and a love almost forgotten between two mutual souls.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked after they had to break off when the need for oxygen came.

She smiled, making his breath catch on his lips. "I was. I'm not anymore…" she smiled when she saw relief spreading to his face. The tension had long since been gone and now, both just wanted to bask with the lost happiness they had uncovered.

"Is that how powerful my kiss was to be able to make you forget all the anger you've harbored for me all these years?" he gently asked, tone almost humoring. Teasing. Kaoru shook her head, a bittersweet smile blossoming in her lips. "You know Kenshin… I've never been totally mad at you… I just felt confused… scared and betrayed… but I never hated you… I was just…" she stopped, unable to continue.

A pang of guilt shot right at his heart seeing her torn expression. "I… Kaoru… It's so hard to explain… you know? Me myself… I admit… I really didn't know what pushed me to do that to you… All these years… I've been thinking… if only if only I had kissed you… treated you differently… declared my love for you in front of father and everyone… things might have not turned this way… You could now have been my wife… We could have had children…and everything and it pains me… knowing it's all my fucking fault."

His head was cast low, yet she could still feel the inward feeling of guilt and pain. So, gently, she took his face in her hands and made him look at her straight in the eye.

"Kenshin… Kenshin… look at me… It's not your entire fault okay? Maybe you've made mistakes in the past… but so have I… I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I should have remained steadfast with you… My faith and love wavered… and then I was forced to marry…" Her hesitation to say his name forced tension in her breath. Shuddering, she finally concluded, "All I'm saying is that, it's not your fault… maybe it's our fate."

"But you love me."

It was not a question but a bold statement and it surprised Kaoru. She was so astonished that she just sat there, frozen and shocked.

"I…I…" she stammered. Noting her hesitation, the young emperor gripped her hands and repeated his question, this time, amber eyes settling in his eyes.

"Do. You. Love. Me." He asked, Making sure his tone implied that he wanted a straight answer.

"Y-yes…" she whispered almost inaudibly. "B-But what about…"

"To hell with Enishi. You don't have to worry about him." He said, voice turning as hard as steel.

"Don't kill him!" she almost screamed, knuckles gripping his gi and her face painted with terror. His answer left her numb.

"You are Mine Kaoru. MINE. And I won't forgive anyone who stole what has been MINE. "

To be continued…

Kindly push the review button..


	4. Keep Me With You

Fanfic by Blueroseulan

June 18, 2004

Standard Disclaimer's Apply!

_THE EMPEROR AND I CHAPTER 4_

_PREVIOUSLY ON CHAPTER 3:_

_Do. You. Love. Me." He asked, Making sure his tone implied that he wanted a straight answer._

"_Y-yes…" she whispered almost inaudibly. "B-But what about…"_

"_To hell with Enishi. You don't have to worry about him." He said, voice turning as hard as steel._

"_Don't kill him!" she almost screamed, knuckles gripping his gi and her face painted with terror. His answer left her numb._

"_You are Mine Kaoru. MINE. And I won't forgive anyone who stole what has been MINE. "_

The sun was just about climbing its way above the wide cerulean firmament of the sky. Though still dotted by many a star, its beauty was enough to create a magical aura as its first rays touched the earthen lands of Tokyo.

A lone figure watched the breath-taking sight before her eyes. Leaning against the cemented railings of the wide veranda, she couldn't help but sigh, drawing the blankets tighter in her form as she seriously pondered the last events that happened in her life.

_Kenshin…_

The name of the man she had fretted the most now escaped her drying lips. It had all happened so fast. One moment she was running away from Enishi, and then she had suddenly collapsed in his arms to wake inside the Imperial palace itself and finally, in a span of one night, things had settled between them.

It was confusing.

_Last night…_

She couldn't help but feel the warm heat that was slowly rising on her cheeks. And as memories of the night before flittered in her mind, slowly, she closed her eyes in a deliberate attempt to remember his touches.

_FLASHBACK_

_**YOU ARE MINE KAORU… MINE. AND I WONT FORGIVE ANYONE WHO STOLE WHAT HAS BEEN MINE.**_

_His words scared her. This wasn't Kenshin, the man she learned to love. His tone implied that he wasn't playing anymore and he really intended to keep his word._

_She was just about to protest when he suddenly silenced her with a hard passionate kiss, melting all of the delinquency she had wanted to say. And though so many thoughts still ran loose on her mind, she couldn't help but kiss him back, her world suddenly becoming coignited with passion._

_He grasped her tighter and all of a sudden, hands were flying in all direction, nimble fingers carelessly touching._

She shook her head. Even provided with their unlikely circumstances, even if it was their first evening together after so many years… they had been so bold as to venture in that area in so juvenile a time…

_Skin against skin…_

_Clothings were torn and thrown to the darkest corners of the room…_

_His gaze was smoldering as he bore his eyes in her nude form. Amber orbs clashing with anger and frenzied passion seeing her bruised body, she had expected his kisses to be fierce, brutal as to be carried with such wild dash of emotions._

_But that was not so._

_He drew a staggering breath, clenching his hands into tight fist before he pulled her form tighter to his, his lips running over her face with such gentleness and tenderness she could not place. He was shaking; she could feel him underneath his touch. And for a moment, she considered the glimpse of something silvery slide past his face._

"_I'm sorry… I'm so so sorry…" _

_It was all he could murmur, voice heavy with guilt and remorse. Even as she tried to pacify him, for fear that he would give in to the melancholy, he continued to caress her gently, like a man would do to a remarkable piece of fine glass he was so afraid of breaking. _

She had to smile upon recalling how soft and soothing his touches had been. For one who had just been chased and battered, Kaoru for one could not blame herself for enjoying the feel of his skin against hers. She wanted it… she yearned for it and no matter how difficult circumstances had always been… she was glad for it.

_Their joining, even so the first as it was, was different. Even as passion and lust clouded her senses, she could feel that he was holding back… his fingers moving slowly and not as savagely as she had thought would be. The rhythmic movement he had set was slow and languorous, so unlike how she had imagined it. She could feel that he was scared, scared of hurting her… again… and yet, no matter how unlikely her first night of love with him turned out to be, she knew, nevertheless that she took pleasure in it no matter how guilty it made her feel afterwards._

"There you are."

Sapphire eyes widening in shock, she felt strong sturdy arms wrap form behind her waist pulling her in a loose embrace as she turned around to face him, face painted with surprise.

"Kenshin?"

He nodded, watching with satisfaction the creeping blush on her cheeks as she noticed that he too, was clothed with nothing more than a mere white sheet of blanket.

"I'll have you know that I don't tolerate any woman of mine standing naked with only a blanket for cover in my veranda for all the world to see." He whispered in the shell of her ear, voice joking and yet somewhat producing shivers that raced up to her spine.

_It feels so wonderful to be held in his arms… I have wanted this… for so long and yet… is this right?_

"Kaoru?"

She turned her back against him once again, trying hard to ignore the fact that his hands had just tightened on her waist. She did not want him to see her distress, moreover feel it in such early a morning and after all, he _is _the emperor of Japan, he had more problems to think about other than the weird emotions she was dying to show.

"Nano you desu ka?"

His voice was laced with worry. Her ki was painted with despondency and confusion. He could tell that she was fighting very hard not to show her emotions and yet…

"Iie… Betsuni nan dayo." She whispered, although feeling the irritable sting of tears in her eyes.

_I won't take your word for it love. "_Kaoru, there _is _something wrong. I could feel it. Please… tell me what's bothering you…" he requested, placing his chin atop her shoulder like a child wanting a story from its mother.

She sighed, knowing that he would only further press the topic if she would not so to speak. _But everything need not be said…_

"It's nothing really… Some silly notion I've been having." She answered trying to dodge his question, as well as his gaze.

An ebon eyebrow rose. "Are you not happy that we're finally together?" he asked, not at all bothering to keep the hurt from his voice.

"NO!" she answered almost defensively, ki flaring into brightness before lowering down. "No… that's not what I meant Kenshin."

"Then what it is?"

Again, she sighed, before turning to face him, fingers slowly creeping to gently touch his scar. Closing his eyes, he leaned on to her touch, breathing her name in the process.

"Kaoru, love, please… tell me… I don't ever want to lose you again… tell me what's bothering you…"

His plea was punctuated with a soft kiss on her lips, drawing a shuddering breath from her before she spoke.

"It's just that… I don't know if this is right… Kenshin… I'm still married to Enishi…" she murmured softly, a stray tear falling down on a pale cheek.

A calloused thumb gently wiped the film of water before he answered in a fierce voice.

"To hell with Enishi… I don't damn care about him!"

"But this is still not right…" she answered, voice quavering.

"What he did to you was no right thing in the first place." He challenged stubbornly, eyes settling an amber shade.

"I…I…but this is just not right…" she murmured miserably, tears falling down her face.

"What do you mean? Don't you love me?" he questioned her, voice hard with seeping anger.

"I do Kenshin. I do. And that's what's eating me in the first place. Think Kenshin… if the others knew about this… about _us…_what would they think of you? For godssake you're the emperor! Would you like them to think of you as someone so lowly as to sleep with a married woman?" she asked, sapphire eyes clouded with remorse, guilt and whatever emotions of the like.

"To hell with them. I don't care about what they think. You are mine Kaoru. And the rest is just point Blanc oblivion." He concluded amber eyes steeled with determination.

She shook her head, unwilling to be cajoled. "You say I am yours? They do not know that Kenshin. They know nothing about this. All they know is that you are emperor and I, the wife of Enishi."

The moment that utterance came out, Kaoru instantly knew it had been the wrong words to say.

He had her pinned against the cold hard wall under his firm hold. His arms had been tightly clamped against hers to prevent any movement as he suddenly crushed her lips in a savage, almost painful kiss. She moaned in protest but could do nothing to prevent him from further silencing her words with his tongue. He was mad, he was in denial and he would do nothing as so to believe anything she had to say about her marriage with Enishi. Kaoru Kamiya has been stamped as his and Kenshin would make sure it would remain that way.

The first thing that registered on her mind, when she opened her sleep clouded eyes, was the firm hand that was grasping her waist. Moving slightly, she felt a heavy weight that was settled atop her exposed chest. Fire colored hair met her gaze as she realized that it was indeed, Kenshin's head that was resting on it.

Eyes turning wistful, she could once again feel the surge of guilt running through her mind. _Kenshin is now the emperor… he has so many things to do rather than sleep and love me all day and yet… I'm being selfish as to keep him to myself…_

Of course she would like to think that both of them had been literally starved of each other's touch that it would take them many an hour… or that including days before the paint of lust, desire and tumultuous passion would be washed away.

She sighed, allowing her fingers to run on the soft almost silk-like feel of his scarlet locks. Beautiful… he was beautiful in almost every way… The deep crimson color of his hair, darker than any shade of blood she had seen… the soft amethyst glow of his eyes, or the fierce animalistic luster of amber orbs… the deep crevasse of his cross scar on his left cheek… his calloused hands… his muscled chest… everything… everything drew her like a moth to a flame…

He buried his face deeper on the crook of her shoulder reminding her of an infant who yearned for its mother's touch. Murmuring her name softly, briefly, she wondered if he was awake, or she was the one who was occupying his dreams. Deciding to choose the latter, she felt sleep envelope her senses and gently fluttered her eyes close to do so.

_Kenshin…_

The place reeked with the suffocating smell of western tobacco and the room was dirty, scattered with bits of paper and scrap. Though the first rays of light had made its touchdown on the ground, darkness still burned with only the candle to give its light.

In the middle of the room sat three men, namely Sanshou Okita, second leader of the squad Shinsen, Kintoku Yamino, third leader of the squad Shinsen and Hajime Saitou, first leader and over all commander of the squadron Shinsen-gumi patrol.

Hajime Saitou, the man behind all the revolts of anti-royalists.

The youngest of the trio, that being Okita, wore a look of anger, bloodlust and a wild passion of fury that showed evidently on his hazel brown eyes.

"We have to move quickly! Our men are slowly losing faith. They want action! Revenge! War! And yet they are hiding, cowering from the eyes of every scrutinizing Japanese man that come their way. Change in the government will never be brought about if we continue to sit and rot here all day, discussing idiocracy and stupid banalities we are too slow to do!"

"You are a fool Okita." Countered Yaminobu grey eyes hard with disagreement. "What we are doing, is something important. It is the foundation of our plan. If we do not plan this properly, ultimately, we would fail, and the Shinsen squad will fall. I am ashamed that you are so childish as to think of our meetings in that stupid manner."

Yellow amber eyes watched with slight interest mixed with disgust the two adults who had started to fight and argue like mindless boys fighting over a game of marbles. Finally, when their words all but rattled his nerves, one strong fist came down on the hard wooden table allowing a loud thud to reverberate on the four corners of the room, ultimately silencing the two men.

"That is enough." His tone was hard and commanding. "I will not tolerate stupid fights over my men. The Shinsen patrol is composed of fine warriors. Not stupid idiots who fight over nothing." He directed his gaze towards the younger man. "Okita, I am disappointed to hear those words from you. You, for one, should know that what we are doing is for our sake. It would work as an advantage. I know how you feel. But we have to wait. Our timing has to be perfect." He concluded, still disapproving the strong, powerful anger he knew only wreckless youths were able to create. "As for you, Yaminobu," he started, turning towards the bearded man. "I am disappointed and disgusted to see you arguing with a child."

With that, Hajime Saitou stood up, took a long drag on his cigarette and started towards the exit of the room.

"When do you plan to attack?"

A wolfish grin graced his lips even as his eyes settled on the color of molten steel.

"Soon Okita. Soon."

She woke up to find the sun high atop the heavens and having the bed alone for herself. Startled, she scrambled back to her feet, unbelieving that she could sleep as late as in the afternoon when she heard a soft knocking on her door. Uncertainty settled on her mind as she mentally debated whether to open the door or not.

"_Kamiya-san…The emperor has sent me to give these to you… please open the door…"_

The soft, almost child-like voice from behind the wooden beam convinced her that the person would be probably harmless. And if Kenshin was the one who sent it…

"Come in."

Surprise flickered in her eyes when it revealed a young girl, no more than the age of fifteen carrying a lumpy parcel in her hands. Bowing respectfully, she entered the room with small measured steps.

"The emperor wanted me to give this to you. He wanted to tell you that you will probably be needing it." She bowed, unable to meet the older woman's face.

Shaking slightly, she took the package she offered and opened it, cerulean orbs widening with surprise.

There in her hands lay a silken kimono, soft and smooth to her touch colored with hue of sapphire and indigo. Purely made of silk, it was decorated with delicately hand woven butterflies and sakura petals each intertwined with gold threads.

"_Kirei…"_ she whispered as she fingered the soft material. The young teen nodded with agreement, glad to find the woman happy. Earlier that morning, the emperor himself had excused her and had explained to her that someone special was sleeping in the room of his. Entrusting her with a parcel, she couldn't help but feel proud that she was the only living soul in the palace to know about her for the man had requested her seal of secrecy.

"Kamiya-san… Himura-sama told me he wanted you to wear that kimono. He said he would be happy if you would do his request."

_Gladly…_Smiling kindly towards the girl, Kaoru couldn't help but trust the young teen.

"I will. Tell me, what is your name?" she asked gently, not wanting to startle the girl with her sudden forwardness.

"Watashi wa, Sanjou Tsubame desu. But you can call me Tsubame or Tsubame chan." She smiled before suddenly blushing fiercely, her shyness getting the best of her. Laughing slightly, Kaoru grasped her hand gently smiling in reassurance. "Hai. Tsubame then. I am Kamiya Kaoru. You can call me Kaoru or Kaoru nee-san."

Hazel eyes widened with astonishment. "_Nee-san?"_

The older woman nodded. "I could tell that you can be trusted and since, you're the only one I could talk with while I'm being here, I suppose we could start treating each other like sisters." She explained.

"But Kamiya-san… You…you still don't know me…" the girl stuttered, unbelieving that she could be so trusting.

"Never mind." She answered with a wave of a hand. "It doesn't matter whether I know you fully or not. As long as its fine with you, it's okay for me if you treat me like a sister ne?"

For a while, Tsubame could not speak. Finally, a brown head bobbed in agreement as she replied with a painfully shy voice. "Hai Kaoru-neesan"

It was going to be a long day for him. Kenshin could feel it. There were so many things to do, so many problems to be solved and he found himself rubbing his temples as he made his way towards his room.

Stopping at the foot of the door, he allowed a smile to chase his lips. Behind that barrier was the woman he loved most. And even if his paperwork piled high up upon his nose, as long as she was with him, safe, everything would be alright. And that perhaps was the best of all.

Knocking softly before opening the door, amethyst eyes widened with shock with the sight that met his eyes.

She was wearing the kimono he had given her and even if her back was against him, the picture she made certainly took his breath away.

The clothing was neither too tight nor too loose. Hugging her body in all the right places and flaunting her curvaceous form, the sleeves tapered off towards her elbow and slid past her long silken arm. Her hair was let down, allowing to fall in the graceful expanse of her back as she suddenly faced him, face flushed with excitement and anticipation.

"Kenshin!" she exclaimed, immediately blushing with the look he regarded her. Possessive, lustful, passionate, love and ardor, everything was transpired in one smoldering gaze.

Crossing the room, he gave her one head to toe stare before locking her in a kiss, delighting the feel of her arms encaging his neck. Tongues battling in a passionate dance, only when the need of oxygen arose did they release one another, each one gasping for breath.

"Beautiful… you are beautiful…" he murmured against her ear, tongue flickering to lick the delicate shell.

She shuddered, leaning on to his touch. "I only dress to please you." she replied cattily, lips capturing his in a brief kiss.

"And you do a good job at it."

She laughed, unbelieving how beautiful and carefree he could make her feel. How terribly light and happy she felt whenever she was with him, either talking or touching…

"I woke to find you gone… where did you go?" she questioned, a mock pout gracing her lips as she fought the urge to smile. Shaking his head, he replied in an almost apologetic voice. "In the court. I had so many things to finish…" he trailed off, focused in only capturing her in a kiss.

His answer was enough to set her guilty once again. Bowing her head, she murmured silently, almost ashamed of herself. "I'm sorry… I should have known you wouldn't want to be disturbed."

He shook his head. "Don't say that. It irks me. You should know you are no nuisance. Leave it at that. I am entitled to have a break Kaoru. Though I am the emperor, it doesn't mean I am not entitled to still enjoy my life." He almost berated.

"D-demo…"

"_Stop it Kaoru_." He countered almost angrily. Seeing the look of despondency on her face, his tone softened, "Stop it Kaoru-love." He punctuated with an endearment. "You should know that you are the most important thing in my life and you are the only person I indulge myself into."

His tone left no room for argument and she had no choice but to nod that head of hers. Allowing a small smile to tug at her lips, she allowed her gaze to wander in the wide expanse of his room, eyes settling on the small, wide mahogany table stacked with papers.

"What are those?" she suggested.

"Oh… they are papers waiting to be signed." He answered in a nonchalant manner. Crossing the room, he settled on his zabuton, grasping the feathered pen to start his job.

"Treaty of Shaku, Agreement of…" watching him sort his paper in a careless manner, she smiled as she settled herself to seat beside him, resting her chin atop his shoulder to watch him while doing his work.

Inwardly he sighed. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine Kaoru, sitting beside him in such intimate a position. Never had he thought the day would still come when he would be given a chance to hold her in his arms. Yes… fate could be quite surprising at times…

Nuzzling his hair with her face, quietly, he laughed allowing a giggle to erupt from her lips as well. Pointing a delicate finger to one of the papers, she nudged him, whispering something in his ear and making him laugh in response. Both of them would have continually enjoyed the moment had it not been for the loud rapping on the door.

"Kenshin! Kenshin!"

Startled, he quickly regarded his gaze towards the direction of the voice. Only one person had the nerve to call him in his name and that was…

"Sanosuke? What are you doing here?" he asked, confused with the sweaty panting form of the man. For a moment, hazel eyes flickered to rest on Kaoru's face before returning back on Kenshin's form. "Pal, you tell me about the chick later. There is something you have to know."

"What is it?"

Restless brown eyes traveled the emperor's features. "Kenshin, word has gotten in that Hajime Saitou, leader of the first squad Shinsen patrol is planning for a revolt in the Satsuma. Knowing what kind of bastard he is, if we don't move now, the samurais in Shinseki and Yokohama will be involved as well! We have to do something about it!

Upon hearing the word 'revolt' and 'shinsen' amethyst eyes turned the violent shade of amber. Seeing the enraged look on the emperor, the younger man hastily excused himself, not wanting to be the person he would be as likely as to unleash his fury upon. War… revolt meant war and he knew that the red head would not take this as something sitting down.

From her distance, Kaoru watched his features shift from light into extremely maddened. This caused worry to filter her mind and upon hearing the other man's words, Kaoru suddenly felt a sinking feeling at the pit of her stomach. Sparing him a look, he caught her gaze and their thoughts united as one.

_War has broken out…_

_And everything will change…_

TBC...

Some responses to my reviewers >". 

nes: Thanks for reviewing in every chapter! You're really inspiring me!Thanks for boosting my confidence! I hope you review for the next chapters!

royal blueKitsune: Yeah I agree... they made out too fast ayt? But I dont want this story to be too much of a drag... some people say it already is :Sobs: Oh well...sorry for confusing yah with the chapter though :)

animelubber22: WOW! I cant believe how supportive you are! From my first fics up to this one you reviewed! Yay! I have to say you did play a good role in giving me a pep boost! I hope you could feed me some ideas... how this story might end and blah... coz I'm really running out. (",)

Sims are awesome: Like what I said, YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! You've reviewed my works since the start. Thanks! I hope you keep on reviewing this one! I just wish yah wouldnt tire from giving me pep boosts hehehe :)

To the others: I would really want to thank you one by one... but its already midnight and my eyes wont dang open in front of my PC... I'm already drooling with sleep you know... Anyways... I must really thank you and ask you to keep on reviewing.

THANKS! DONT FORGET TO REVIEW! ON WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER!

CIAO!

bluerose


	5. Chapter 5: Hidden in my Tears

The Emperor and I

Standard Disclaimers Apply! KNK does not belong to me. You hear me? Please don't sue!

AN: I would just like to say, to the others that tell me that this is so much of a dark fic and Kenshin's being too much of a possessive being, well… there are other fics wherein he's so much more possessive! I'm not saying I'm against those (Actually I love em ) what I'd like to say is that, Kenshin's partly Battousai here. And we all know how dark that persona can be. I really purposely made him possessive coz if he isn't… then he wouldn't have the will to fight Enishi. (As you all know, Enishi's the main villain here.)

Oh dear I'm ranting on! Arrgh! Please REVIEW! Need I say it again?

_Previously on Chapter 4:_

_Restless brown eyes traveled the emperor's features. "Kenshin, word has gotten in that Hajime Saitou, leader of the first squad Shinsen patrol is planning for a revolt in the Satsuma. Knowing what kind of bastard he is, if we don't move now, the samurais in Shinseki and Yokohama will be involved as well! We have to do something about it!_

_From her distance, Kaoru watched his features shift from light into extremely maddened. This caused worry to filter her mind and upon hearing the other man's words, Kaoru suddenly felt a sinking feeling at the pit of her stomach. Sparing him a look, he caught her gaze and their thoughts united as one._

_War has broken out…_

_And everything will change…_

_Chapter 5:_

The hours seem to drag on, making almost every passing moment unbearable for Kaoru. For after Sanosuke had departed with ill-fated news, Kenshin had suddenly stormed out of the room, face clouded with the intensity of the sudden rush of his emotions leaving her as a child would do to an abandoned toy.

_Of course it's but natural for him to act like that…_she rationalized as she crossed the wideness of the room to sit on his bed. Plopping down with a loud sigh, she allowed her mind to dance in the clear empty spaces of oblivion.

_Is this right? _

_Of course it isn't… _

_But Why?_

_You're a married woman now._

_But Kenshin said it doesn't matter… I belong to him. _

_Oh really? He doesn't have a branding when it comes to you. Moreover, it is none other than Enishi who owns you now._

The mental debate she was waging across herself was all the more bearing Kaoru's esteem down. For since the first waking moment of her life inside the emperor's palace, it seemed to the woman that she was thrown in a hurried frenzy of emotions, a flurry of good and bad intentions that made her head spin wildly.

Bored as she was, she strutted towards the wide balcony of his room, slightly blushing as memories of two naked beings wrapped in only a blanket came in her mind. The night was cool and she couldn't help but shiver against the biting wind on her skin. Trailing her gaze, she could have been captured by the picturesque sight the wide Tokyo skies could have made had her thoughts not been muddled in a dark pool of thinking.

_What should I do next?_ She thought, eyes clouded with worry and agitation. Never had she felt so lost, so conflicted with emotions. _I love Kenshin… the gods all know that. But I am married to Enishi. I know it is not rightful for me to love another while I am bound in front of the eyes of the gods by marriage…_ It was hard for her, utterly so, for being tied down by the heavy weight of being linked to Enishi bore down her soul. _Had it been Kenshin that I had married… I wouldn't be suffering like this…_ But that was only a passing thought. It was painfully obvious it was the past now. An opportunity long forgotten to be grasped. There was no use in weeping over that matter. It's like crying over spilt milk they say.

But why is it that even if she knew the truth, tears still came down her eyes?

_Because I am hurt… and I am caged…_

Caged.

Yes she was a caged woman. Town between two pulling frictions of two different and dangerous men. She'd rather die than go back to Enishi; his beatings had far marked himself in her mind. _But where do I go? I can't stay here in the imperial palace… Rumors would start to circulate about me and it would only serve to hurt and distract Kenshin…and he can't afford to be distracted now…. What with the war starting… and what about me? I just can't stay locked up in a four corner room for the rest of my life! I don't want to spend my moments just lying down and lazing around just like what courtesans do! _

By now, tears were trailing down her cheeks in huge wide paths and her breath was coming out in sobs. She was scared; she was confused and all conflicting emotions of the like.

_Kami-sama…mou sukoshi dake…onegaishimasu…_

The court was now empty, whereas it was almost bursting with excited and agitated men before. Rubbing his temples wearily, the emperor was the least to say, tired of commanding his men to behave like proper soldiers rather than young fools who had just gotten wind of a new fad. They were nonetheless excited with the war. Not at all scared to lose their lives. War was something that made them feel alive, making their blood sing in each nerve fiber of their beings. Coupled with this was the honor to fight in the name of their country and for their emperor, a thought that provoked serious mind thinking for the latter.

"Oi Kenshin, meetings over. Yah might want to take that frown off yah face." Sanosuke jeered, elbowing the older man slightly in the ribs. Shooting him with a darkened gaze Kenshin only sat silent. After the gathering, it was only Sanosuke who had remained in the room with him, as what he usual does ever since the new emperor's reign. He was sometimes a pain, as Kenshin would like to put it, but more often than not, he allowed humor to seep in back to his mind and allocate the turmoil raging inside.

Deciding not to be undaunted, the young fighter once again tried to capture his attention. "Oi Buddha man. Talk to me. Talk to me oh lively deity one! Speak about the chick you're holding in the magical chambers of thee… Give me a vision on how beautiful this creature could be! Tell me oh wise Buddha man!" he joked, complete with the proper hand gestures that almost made Kenshin laugh.

Almost.

Sanosuke had a frown in his face after he had finished telling the whole story to him. Even so including the fact that Kaoru was a married woman and was indeed married to Enishi. The younger man was shaking his head after that.

"So what are you gonna do next man?"

"What do you mean Sano?"

"Oh for Chrisssake! You can't keep her locked up in your room forever!" Sanosuke exclaimed, clapping a hand on his forehead, unbelieving how dense the young emperor could be. "Do you really believe Enishi would let you keep his wife? Are you nuts? And you're planning to lock her away from the piercing eyes of everybody in here? Oh shit man!"

He would have answered defensively (Though not one coherent thought entered his brain) and their argument would have waged on, had they not been interrupted by the sudden opening of the door, showing an enraged Enishi.

"WHERE IS SHE!"

The guards that were restraining him could do nothing to fight the animalistic power of the man.

"What are you doing here Yukishiro?" the emperor answered coolly, even though his heart was beating a hundred paces above the norm.

"I CAME TO GET MY WIFE! NOW TELL ME WHERE IS SHE?"

He gave the maddened man no answer, merely shot him with a dark emboldened gaze making the other's fury rise.

"I KNEW IT. YOU'RE HIDING HER FROM ME ARE YOU! NO DOUBT, THE EMPEROR DESIRES MY WIFE! HAH! THAT SLUT? AND I'M SURE SHE'S IN YOUR ROOM ISNT SHE?"

His blood was boiling, though he was restraining hard to keep his face blank and cool. There were guards in there and he could not afford to show them that what Enishi was saying is true. Enough was his barging in the court and to call his Kaoru a slut…

"It's none of your business Enishi Yukishiro. If I were you, I'd take a good night sleep as I was to lead the front command army in the battle in Satsuma that is to take place tomorrow!"

The words were enough to knock Enishi out of his maddened rage. News such as sudden as this, was ample to take his mind away from his stupid whore. Gasping out in stupor, his expression gave the emperor the cue to signal Sanosuke to lead the man out. Nodding, the bigger man crossed the room, and with the help of ten other palace guards, dragged Enishi out of the room.

Seeing the man gone, Kenshin breathed a sigh of relief. It was good that he had escaped from Enishi this once, but would he be able to dodge his questionings after he came back from the war. Certainly, the emperor had no intentions to hand down the woman he had forever marked as his.

_Kaoru…_

Upon the sudden departure of her name in his lips, he rose up and started to head down towards their room, mind in turmoil as he reflected on what Sanosuke had said earlier.

_You can't keep her locked up in your room forever!_

True, he would have to find a better way, but he also knew Kaoru hated being held as captive, hidden under one's penetrating gaze. She was a woman who loved people, deserved sunshine and immersed herself in helping others. A woman with such compassionate and loving a heart should not be at all locked up.

_After the war… things would calm down… and I could finally settle the score with Enishi… after the war…_ Bile as it was in his tongue, he knew Enishi was a vital part of his army. He could not afford to throw Enishi now, what with Saitou Hajime as the leader of the revolting group. Enishi was one of the bases of his army and the said man knew this information too, giving him an egoistic pride to stand up against the emperor and amongst his men.

_That greedy cruel man… I can't stop thinking how my Kaoru ended up marrying him… geesh… _

Speaking of Kaoru, he saw the look of desolation and alarm flash in her face before he went away to meet his men. Recalling back, he felt sorry for not giving her even the slightest reassurance that everything would be alright. Mind too clouded to even think of romance and sex; it was only now that he thought of her again. Shaking his head, he made a mental note to ask her forgiveness as he opened their room to be met by a sight that made him retrace back his steps in a frenzied manner.

The room was empty and she was nowhere in sight.

The wind was harsh and rain was pelting down to bite against her skin. Seemingly for her, the weather matched the cruel intensity of her emotions. The last thing she wanted to do was leave, and yet, it seemed to her that it was the only rightful thing to do. Being left alone in Kenshin's room gave her the time to think and decide what was the next probable thing to do and the only answer she could arrive on was to travel to the next town and start anew from there. Knowing Enishi, he would have easily gotten over her and no doubt, in less than a few weeks, he would have found himself another suitable woman to marry.

_Kenshin…_

His name whispered itself on the wind.

_I'm sorry… but I just can't stay any longer… our love was doomed from ever since the beginning and I am able to think that it would not change… when I am gone, then you can find yourself someone who deserves you love more than I do… a woman you can never be ashamed to show in front of everybody, free from the guilt of loving her while she is chained to another… you deserve so much more Kenshin and I so much less…_

She had reached the hill that had served as their rendezvous spot so many years had passed. A bittersweet smile tugged at her lips as she recalled the joy and exhilaration she felt as a woman of eighteen whenever she met with him in their 'hidden' and 'secret' spot. No mater how childish and how mushy it was, it was still something that was the best on Kaoru's book. Scrambling to stand on top, tears once again well in her eyes as she thought of the countless embraces, the warm kisses and the calming reassurance he had given her on this same spot. Taking no notice of the rain or the fact that she was thoroughly drenched, she only stood silently, thoughts focused on the flashbacks that would probably be her last, the wind blowing at her face and her coat billowing towards one direction.

_Kenshin…_she thought holding her coat tighter to herself, ebon wisps of hair somewhat escaping the hooded clothing. _Please take care of yourself… remember that… I will always love you… no matter what happens and that my leaving was really not my choice but the choice of destined fate… forgive me Kenshin..._

_Aishiterru…_

From afar, someone stood entranced, awed with the beauty of the lone figure that was standing atop the hill, with the rain and the wind blowing at her form in a somewhat paining manner, the moon serving to illuminate the distraught, saddened finalization she wore on her delicate face, wetted by what seemed to be undistinguishable tears and rain.

She was about to leave, knowing that if she stayed longer, her resolve would finally crumble. Moving to hug her coat, heavy with rain, tighter in her chest, she started to return at the foot of the hill when a sudden strong hand grasped her shoulder.

_Enishi!_

"Don't."

The voice was familiar, but it was painted with desperate yearning and desolation she knew he was straining so hard not to show. She need not look to see the owner of the voice, it was a melody she had tuned at the back of her mind for several years, memorized the wonderful, rich baritone that served to lull her to sleep in many a night.

"_Kenshin…" _she murmured, undecided if she was to be aghast or was to be thankful.

And in response, he reached out to crush her lips against his.

The pain, the guilt, and the desperation she had tried so hard to conquer all but crashed on to her form like a wave of nausea, making her feel light headed and dizzy. Caging her arms around his neck, she threw caution to the wind, uncared if both of them where drenched thoroughly, and drank in his kiss, as he was doing with hers. _This is what I've wanted… what I need… It may be not rightful… but I don't care… I need to be with Kenshin… I am a fool to even think of leaving him!_

Had it been any other situation, Kenshin might have thought of the night as a romantic wonderful escapade, with the rain pelting down on two young lost lovers, their warm embrace seeking to bade off the biting wind against their skin, their kisses soft and smooth on each one's lips.

But that was not so.

The panic, the fear, the desperation all boiled down to one as his tongue desperately seeked to crush hers. Tightening his hold on her, he never wanted to let go, like a little lost child who had just regained its mother. He clutched her waist in a desperate grip, even as she slightly protested. It was obvious that he was far too consumed with the raging dementia in his consciousness.

Finally, when the need for air became too much, he released her lips, but not his tight hold on her. Burying his face in the crook of her neck, he inhaled her scent, thanking the gods that he was just on time to find her.

_He's terrified…_she realized as she felt him shake from underneath his touch. Reaching out, she allowed the tears to fall, her sobs escaping as proof on how sorry she really was.

"_Don't ever do that again… don't _leave_ me again… don't kill me Kaoru…."_ He murmured, feeling the bitter sting of his tears against the cold splash of rain on his rain. He was scared, he was terrified, he had panicked and one could never decipher the thankfulness and relief he had felt when he saw the lone figure standing atop the hill.

"_I'm sorry… I'm sorry… amidst all of these I had wanted to escape… just like what I've done before… I'm sorry…" _she sobbed, guilt shooting across her chest. It was not right, but it was the truth. _To hell with all of them… I don't care if I stayed locked up in his room… as long as I'm with him… everything will be alright…_

He shook his head, not wanting to hear her apologies, knowing that it was all unfounded.

"_Stop crying… I can't bear to see you cry… Everything will turn out fine… please… there's nothing to be sorry about." _He punctuated his last words with a tender kiss on her forehead, watching in satisfaction as a small smile curled up in her lips.

"Come… it's not safe to speak here. Let's just go back." He declared, memories of Enishi suddenly resurfacing in his mind making him grip her wrist tightly as he led her towards back to the imperial palace.

"_Kenshin…_" she murmured. Her vision was honestly spinning, mind becoming hazy and fuzzy as she tried to regain her balance and focus her view to the man walking in front of her. No sooner had she breathed out his name did she lose control and her world finally became black.

"KAORU!"

Panic and alarm gripped his voice when he realized that she had lost her consciousness. Managing to catch her falling form before she hit the ground, he had her cradled in his arms as he ran with god like speed towards the palace, intending to call for the lady doctor even with such deep a night.

From behind the thick dark shadows of the trees, a form stirred, adjusting his cloak, he felt his blood rage. He had seen everything. From their kiss and her collapse, he had seen it all… The sword he had hidden from under his cloak would have gone out had it not been with the passing thought that crossed his mind. Too soon. An attack would be too soon. He would have to wait… Wait for the right time. If only he had the proper timing, then ultimately, this would serve as the emperor's downfall… With this conclusion, he resheathed his sword back into his saba as he moved to disappear in the dark abyss of the stormy night.

The gentle colors of dusk were slowly filtering the skies by the time she opened her eyes. Still confused with what had happened, she placed a palm atop her forehead to breathe an annoyed sigh. Her temperature had not receded and she was still feeling feverish…

_Kenshin…_

She noticed him the same time his name whispered on her lips. He was seated on the floor beside her. Head cradled at the hook of his arm. _He must have fallen asleep while watching me…_ she rationalized, feeling romanticized with the thought. Smiling, she slowly lowered a hand to stroke his face, careful not to wake him up.

Too bad he was a light sleeper.

The moment her touch had registered, he was up; sleep immediately disappearing at the back of his mind. Smiling, he reached to stroke her face.

"Ohayou." She breathed out.

"Ohayou. How are you feeling?" he inquired, reaching to wet the rag on her forehead.

"Slightly feverish. But I'm okay now. Thanks to you." She smiled. Clasping their hands and lacing her slender fingers with his. "Kenshin…" she started, feeling the tears again.

She found herself unable to speak for he had silenced her by placing a light digit on her lips.

"Hush now love. Do not apologize… It was my fault… I should never have caged you here in my room… I should have considered your feelings… your needs… I became selfish love." He admitted. Guilty as she was, she couldn't help but cradle his face in her palms.

"I know… but somehow I've realized that no matter what happens… no matter what obstacles I have to face as long as I'm with you… as long as we're together, everything would be bearable… it wouldn't be called a problem anymore because you're with me…" she smiled, a stray tears somewhat falling in her cheek.

"Aishiterru Himura Kenshin." She whispered, placing her lips on his in a tender kiss.

"Aishiterru Kamiya Kaoru." He answered, catching her sapphire orbs with a tender look.

Their gaze was enough to comprehend that everything was fine… everything forgiven and pushed at the dark corners of the room. Moving slightly, she motioned for him to lie beside him, a thing he did with no hesitation. Sighing contentedly when she felt him wrap his arms around her slender waist, she cuddled her face at the crook of his neck and willed herself to sleep.

The court was brimming with people, mainly soldiers and members of the imperial diet. Each one excited and agitated as to know who had won the war. It was a short one at that thought. Mainly a small revolt that lasted only for a month. Naturally, a war would take six months or years even so and yet, this one was over in such a small period of time.

The emperor himself was anxious. He had sent Sanosuke to collect news about the details of the revolt. From the dead to those who would return. He could trust with Sanosuke with that and as the door opened, a look of satisfaction and gratitude to the gods flashed in his face as he saw the smile that had goofily been pasted on the younger man's mouth.

Walking almost stiffly towards the emperor, Sanosuke knew he could not afford to goof out in front of everybody. When he was alone with Kenshin, it was acceptable for him to treat the older man as any other common friend, like a good buddy. And yet, in front of everybody, he must show respect for Kenshin was not Kenshin. He would be talking not to his friend but to the emperor.

"Your imperial highness," he started voice thick with unacclaimed respect. Though serious as he was, the addressed man couldn't help but notice the glint of mischief and camaraderie flashing on the young captain's face.

"I am honored to deliver the news that we had won the battle in Satsuma against the Shinsen patrol. Moreover, I am glad to tell you that second leader of Squad Shinsen Okita Sanshou had been extinguished in the fight. The body of Kintoku Yamino had also been sighted dead."

"And Hajime Saitou?" the emperor asked suspecting that the mibu wolf would not be eradicated so easily.

His suspicion was right.

"Your highness, I had asked our men about him and they told me that he had fled afterwards the war has been won. No one had seen him since."

"I see." Kenshin murmured thoughtfully, "And what about our men?"

With this the younger man frowned. "Many had been lost sir. But not all I reassure you. I have collected a list of those living and dead. May I be allowed to read it in court?"

Nodding in approval, Sanosuke began to read the names who had survived the effects of war. Though taking this into consideration, he couldn't help but become alarmed when Sanosuke had finished the list of survivors with no utterance whatsoever of the name of the man he was waiting the most.

"Sanosuke, what about Yukishiro Enishi, one of our finest leaders in the army?" anxious amethyst eyes met clouded hazy ones as Sanosuke shook his head.

"Sir, I regret to inform you that Yukishiro Enishi, First captain patrol of the imperial army division had died on the battle of Satsuma a day before the war has been won."

TBC…

Some terms:

_Kami-sama, mou sukoshi dake _God, please give me more time…

_Ohayou _Good morning!

TADA! Enishi's dead! H well… he just had to give up didn't he? On to the next chappie! Don't forget to review! Oh and by the way, Sorry if Kaoru irritated you guys by running away like a damsel in distress… sowie but I thought it would be good if I put that in… anyways, they got back together pretty fast ne?

I'll have a separate chapter for all my reviewers… for now….

JA!


	6. Chapter 6: Call of Liabilities

Fanfic by blueroseulan

July 11, 2004

AN: Finally finally… and UPDATE! Sorry if it took me so long… oh well.. the importamt thing is I'm back now ne…? I just wanna thank you guys for forever giving your support especially those who had reviewed from Chapter one up to now! Arigatou Gozaimasu minna-san! Yada yada… I'm ranting on! On with the chapter… don't forget to REVIEW! The more the reviews the faster I'll update.

_Previously on Chapter 5:_

_Nodding in approval, Sanosuke began to read the names who had survived the effects of war. Though taking this into consideration, he couldn't help but become alarmed when Sanosuke had finished the list of survivors with no utterance whatsoever of the name of the man he was waiting the most._

"_Sanosuke, what about Yukishiro Enishi, one of our finest leaders in the army?" anxious amethyst eyes met clouded hazy ones as Sanosuke shook his head._

"_Sir, I regret to inform you that Yukishiro Enishi, First captain patrol of the imperial army division had died on the battle of Satsuma a day before the war has been won."_

_CHAPTER 6_

_K_

N

K

Dusk was slowly creeping in. The gentle colors of red and soft orange bathing the vast Tokyo skies. Stars were slowly clambering their own positions in the canopy and one would not have been closer pressed upon to conclude how peaceful the scene was.

Peaceful and yet, one restless figure stood agitated and tensed in the emperor's palace balcony.

_Enishi is dead…_

Enishi was dead.

The fact was flabbergasting.

Flabbergasting, yet true.

_Enishi is dead… what happens now…?_

It almost deemed impossible and Kaoru for one, could not imagine how such a talented, skilled warrior such as the man would be killed in just a simple revolt. Enishi was more than strong. The word would be an understatement compared to his ability. The only person she could think of, that could surpass his skill was none other than the emperor himself.

Leaning on the palace railings with a soft sigh, she allowed her gaze to travel on the wide expanse of the land. Everything was calm and peaceful, untouched and serene…and yet, her mind was a tortured soul, her conscience eating her thoughts.

_Enishi is finally dead… shouldn't I be happy…? I'm free now… free to marry the man I love most and yet… why is it that…_

She trailed off. She couldn't continue. The fact that her husband was dead would still not sink in to her sub consciousness and relief was still a far cry from her grasp.

Relief.

It was one thing she so desperately wanted to feel…but somewhere along the way, wouldn't come up to grasp her senses.

Guilt.

Was she liable for her own husband's death?

_Silly Kaoru… you know you never meant to kill him… and besides… he went to war… he died in the war… there's no sense in blaming yourself for some foolishness you have not done._

A cold wind blew followed by the sudden flash of lightning in the sky, bright enough to scare Kaoru. The peaceful aura of the village below was now distorted, ruined by the image of rain and storm. Shivering, she retraced her steps and closed the door to prevent the rain from wetting the tatami floor. A shudder escaped her lips. _Good grief! Are the gods striking me with thunder with all these thoughts I'm having!_

Shaking her head, she crossed the chambers of the room to flop down on their bed…er… his bed… Coveting the title was not only unrighteous… but also downright ambitious. She was not married to Kenshin and yet… making love seemed like a common thing for them, an issue stomped and hidden at the corner of the room. Moreover, sleeping with him only meant denouncing her title as Enishi's wife. For every person knew that a married woman should only sleep with her husband.

_And now… Enishi's dead…_

Yes. Enishi was dead. And he died carrying the hurtful rejection she dealt him.

_His death was so sudden… so sudden… I didn't even get the chance to ask forgiveness for what I have done… It is not right to use his beatings as an excuse to sleep with another man… Oh Enishi! Do you hate me so much now…?_

And with these thoughts, the raven haired woman broke down into loud pitiful sobs. Tried though she had to muffle them with an ashen colored palm, she could not control herself, her tears falling down to wet the thick mattresses. The thought of Enishi's hatred was far more than what she could bear. Kaoru was a good person, only morally degraded with her secret affair with the emperor but other than that, she wanted think of herself as someone who knew what love and respect was.

Still with these thoughts, she couldn't quiet herself.

She continued to cry, even as he entered the room. To say he was surprised would be a mere understatement. Shocked as he was to see her sobbing form, all he could do was hold her and wait for the storm to pass.

And pass it did for she remained unmoving in his arms for awhile, breath still coming out in short hiccups. He need not know her reason for distress, for he had a strong inkling on why it suddenly came in its place. He strongly suspected that Enishi's death had something to do about it and though, he wouldn't deny feeling _slightly_ jealous, slightly, but not overly so, he thought, it would have been far too ridiculous if she knew he was envious over a dead man.

She joined him to bed afterwards, but she didn't allow him to touch her. Had he been an egotistic man, his pride would have dived down a hundred degrees lower below zero. But Kenshin was rational and sensitive and he understood her. He _had _to, for there was no sense fighting in such deep a night just because of lust and pleasure.

"_Kenshin…" _she breathed out just as he was about to drift to sleep.

"_Hmmm…?"_

His tone was soft, sleepy and alluring, a comfort to her sudden guilty soul. Closing her eyes and banishing any ideas of liability, she threw caution to the wind and snuggled closer to the man.

"_Kaoru…?" _His voice was filled with uncertainty. He wanted to reach out, but was afraid the notion was still premature and he would just end up hurting her. So he just kept quiet, a fact she was grateful of.

"_Kenshin… I want to go to Satsuma tomorrow…" _she whispered, silently praying for his approval, knowing it would be scarce.

"_NANI?" _ Sleepiness gone, his face was now painted with confusion, surprise and stubborn defiance.

_I should have known…_ "_Please Kenshin… I want to see… if not Enishi's body, just at least the place where I know he died so I could offer something…"_ she added, guilt and trepidation evident.

But he would not give in.

"It's far too dangerous Kaoru. And still morbid even for my own liking. The rebellion was small, but Saitou's group was strong. I cannot possibly allow you to witness all those blood shed." he finished, trying hard not to lose his patience.

She knew him far too well to know that a temper was slowly starting to grow. And yet, unwilling as she was to fight, she _needed _him to give his consent no matter how angry he was unlikely as to become.

"_Kenshin…_" his name came out in soft whispered syllabus. Catching his breath in her trance like call. He watched her under concerned amethyst orbs as she sat up and slowly treaded her way towards his wide balcony. He spoke not a word, his silence creating a deafening stillness.

Finally, giving in to his urge, he rose up and followed her, wrapping his arms around her small rounded waist. The raven haired woman turned to face him, burying herself in the crook of his neck and surprising him when he felt her shake from underneath his touch. He whispered her name in alarm, for he could not comprehend the reason why so many tears where escaping her lovely sapphire eyes.

"_Please Kenshin… Please… allow me to honor Enishi… even after his death…"_

Her plea gave a definite tug in his heart and yet, the emperor found himself unable to speak, his tongue seemingly tying itself in a knotted chord. Torn between granting her requests and giving in to his sudden instinct to protect her, he finally chose the latter for he wanted her safety, far more than her approval for his decision.

But that, he left unspoken.

Instead, he held her close, seemingly protecting her shivering form from the biting wind. Un acknowledging his decision, he hoped she would let the matter drop, forget all the hell about it, and let both of them have their sleep. _My dear sweet Kaoru… I never wanted to see your tears… and yet… I couldn't afford to gamble your safety for the sake of your piece of mind… I'm sorry… But I won't let you go…_

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Her request went unheeded, she just knew it. The moment she woke up with no one beside her, the raven haired woman knew that the emperor had not granted her request to return to Satsuma. Angry tears welling in her eyes, she could not for one understand why he felt so overprotective on her when her only threat was already dead. Touched she should be for his concern for her safety, she felt smothered on the notion.

Still, Kamiya Kaoru would not be undaunted. _I'm sorry Kenshin… but I need to do this, not only for my sake… but for both of us as well… I'm sorry… but I really have to do this…_

Looking around, she was confronted with a problem. The emperor's room was on the top of the building, and the balcony was far too high to be any means of escape. She did not know the ins and outs of the palace itself and she would just end up getting lost and getting caught by one of the palace guards. Kaoru shuddered with the thought.

_What can I do…?_ Asking herself, her gaze directed itself towards the balcony. It was high, yes, it really was and yet, it could only be her only hope in getting away. Sapphire eyes widening with realization, quickly, she took the whitened linen sheets, flung the cabinets open for some more, and started tying them in large sturdy knots. When the length had satisfied her, she started tying, with all the force she could muster, the 'rope' she had done around the banisters of the balcony and flung the linen sheets with all her might.

_There… all set…_ She quickly undressed and changed into a simple black kimono with a wine-colored obi adorning her slender waist. It was all that she could do to show her mourning and her respect for the death of her husband. Running towards the balcony, she felt her heart quicken into a few more thunderous beats. With this escape, she was throwing all that she had. Losing her life wasn't the only danger she had to face, but the emperor himself. If he was to find out that she had disobeyed his will, she could very well never regain back his trust.

Squaring her shoulders and taking a deep breath, she steadied herself, assured her conscience that what she was doing was neither right nor wrong and therefore she should not be judged—and started making her way carefully down the tied linen sheets. Caught in that situation, Kaoru was sure her heart would burst right through her chest. One wrong move and it was over. One wrong foot and she could end up breaking her neck and dying in no time. Trying hard not to look down, she tried to calm herself and instead, focus her attention in succeeding with her task.

When her foot touched the ground, the woman collapsed into a heap, form shaking and trembling with the sudden tension all but escaping in every pore of her body. Uncaring If she was seen or not, she continued to catch her breath, only to lose it all again when she felt a heavy hand on her shoulder.

"Hey missy."

_Oh god…I'm so like dead meat…_The voice sounded familiar, but still, there was trepidation in her heart that the person could very well be a common palace guard and she would just be presented to the emperor after all the work, not to mention the danger she had paled on herself.

"Missy."

Slowly turning her head in fear of facing her unlikely companion, she nearly threw her arms with relief when she saw that the man was no other than Sanosuke himself.

"Oi, what are you doing here?" he asked, eyes suddenly catching sight of the billowing sheets that hung on the high balcony coming from the emperor's room. "Boy, are you one brave woman." He concluded, shaking his head and offering her a hand to stand up.

She took it, gladly, but for a while she could not speak.

"Lemme guess, you're escapin' from him aren't ya?" his tone was disapproving and he tsked. "Well, I should' a known no woman could stay smothered inside a room of his. But lemme tell yah Jou-chan, there's no escaping that man. He'll just find yah all over again so if I were you, I'd just save myself the trouble and return back." He concluded. "Oh… an' let me escort yah back to yah room. I promise I wont tell." He added jokingly, moving to lead her back inside.

But a firm grip stopped his arm. So tight it was that he couldn't help but stop. Peering into her face, he was surprised to see so many emotions in her cerulean eyes.

"Please… I'm not escaping your emperor… you very well know that I love him so much… and I…" she trailed off.

"So why are yah here Jou chan…? Pretty looks like an escape to me."

"I wanted to go to Satsuma… but Kenshin won't allow me… but I _need to go there Sanosuke… _I _have _to… It's just that he won't understand… could you help me go there…? Please…? I don't know how to leave the palace… I would just get lost and well… please….?" She appealed, tears starting to fall in justification to her pleas.

He stared at her weeping form. Hard. Things had just been reversed. Hadn't it? It was as if she trusted him so well, she knew he would never tell the emperor all about this. Uncomfortable as he was with the situation, he wanted to just lug her in the court, leave her to the emperor, and drag his sore butt away from the woman. But of course, as we all know it, he was just as unlikely as capable of ever doing that act.

"Aww man…. And you just had to pick me out didn't yah….?" He muttered sarcastically. "Oh well… come on… yah know I can't stand to see a good woman cry. Just don't take long alright? Or the emperor would both have our heads. Come along Jou-chan. We'll arrive at Satsuma in Satsuma in about half an hour."

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The battlefield was empty, bare and yet there was some kind of a deadly silence, a weeping stillness that suffocated the whole area. No bodies were present, much to Kaoru's relief, (for she would have freaked out had she seen one) but the metallic tang of blood was still there. The aura was so forlorn, sorrowful and melancholic, slamming against her chest like a giant wave. The bitter sweet smell of victory and death, the memory of a battle fought and won but on the account of the lives of men… it was so depressing that Kaoru found herself crying not only for the sake of her husband, but for every wife who had lost theirs as well.

_Enishi… I always conceded with your actions… did whatever you wanted me to do and never left you even if during the whole duration of our marriage I had never felt loved…I respect you Enishi… and I hope you could forgive me for the things I had done… It was all too much… I wanted to get even with you… I wanted you to perish for the sake of the consequences of your actions… but I never wanted you dead… I never did Enishi… I never wanted you dead… please… please forgive me…_

From afar, Hazel eyes gazed at the weeping woman. She had asked to be left alone for awhile, he kept his distance. Sanosuke knew when to butt in or to give in to his jokes, but he also certainly knew when to keep his nose out of the business. It was something he had learned from keeping the emperor company all these years. _Yeah. Figures. Keep your nose out of the business and here you are... with his woman without his approval. Yeah. Figures. _ He thought sarcastically. Taking a glance around the battlefield, he almost shuddered. The scene looked far better than the one he saw immediately after the war. That one was the worst on his list. Blood everywhere, bodies rotting, the sound of weeping still resounding in the air… manly as he was, he couldn't help but shudder at the memory.

The air was charged and there was a thick air of tension suffocating the whole field. Even though it appealed far too suspicious for the man, he resigned himself that it was just his hookies playing jokes on him. _Of course I'd feel this way… This is the place where there was practical massacre. I could even be standing on a body right now… _Gagging at the thought, his mind was suddenly diverted when he saw her turn around and makes her way towards him.

"_Arigatou…_"she bowed. _"I have made peace with Enishi's soul. I only hope he would find the will to forgive me…for what I've done…Arigatou… Sagara-san…_" she bowed once again, earning a deep flush from the other's cheeks.

"Aww Jou-chan… that's nothing. You just stay silent bout this to the emperor okay? I don't want him running around wanting my head." He joked, leading her towards the other part of the field where his horse stood munching grass.

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_Dull gray eyes stood alert. Once again, he had seen everything. Seen her kneel in the hard bloody ground and weep with guilt and remorse. Satisfaction surged through his veins. His plans hadn't failed at all. Not at all… Now was the time… now was the perfect timing he had been waiting for. Watching her every move, her every step, he stood wary of her companion, waited for him to busy himself with his horse and finally, slipped the blow dart to his lips, and blew with precise accuracy._

_It hit the target._

_A loud gasped escaped the victim's lips, followed by a sudden loud thud. She had fallen to the ground. The spiky-haired man quickly directed himself towards her collapsed form and yet, before he could reach her, somebody had grabbed hold of her body._

_Platinum colored hair, dark-rimmed eyeglasses, and gray eyes with a murderous glint… yes… it was no other than…_

"_ENISHI!"_

_Sardonically, the said man flashed Sanosuke a victorious smirk, bowed his head with mock respect and mysteriously disappeared with Kaoru still in his arms, their form cloaked by a silver bluish mist._

_For a while he couldn't move, seemingly paralyzed on the spot. His mind would not register anything aside from the flutter of a small sheet of paper. Picking it up, it revealed Enishi's tidy scrawl._

_Her life lies in my hands right now._

_If you want her alive, come to the Shinsen headquarters after three days. Midnight._

_If you want her dead, then just disregard this note._

_But I know you wouldn't want my wife dead wouldn't you ?_

_I will wait for you and then both of us could really settle the score_

_Yukishiro_

"_JOU-CHANN!"_

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_To say that the emperor was mad when he found out that Kaoru had gone to Satsuma would be the perfect understatement of the century. Angry wouldn't describe him. To say that he was irate was something foolish. He was more than livid, beside himself and he certainly was more than furious. Ordering the palace guards to search the whole imperial palace, he set the best of his men to scout for her all over Tokyo, that including the place of Satsuma. Though many were puzzled with the sudden outbursts of emotions form the usually peaceful emperor, they had no choice but to shut their mouths for fear of having their own heads cut off by his sword.

He was just about to set out to find her himself when he heard quick rapid footsteps accompanied by the loud shouts of his name. Suddenly, the door of the court ripped open to show a panting Sanosuke, face painted with sweat, fear and trepidation.

"KENSHIN! KENSHIN! IT'S JOU-CHAN! SOMETHING'S HAPPENED TO JOU-CHAN!"

Instantly, his blood ran cold. Trying to keep his voice steady, he asked the trembling man. "Sanosuke, what happened? What happened to Kaoru? Where is she? Tell me!"

The questioned man shook his head. "I don't know! She just collapsed and they just disappeared in some magical powder… I don't know Kenshin! I DON'T KNOW!"

Amber eyes widened. "They…? They just disappeared…? What are you saying Sano?"

The taller man gripped his shoulders, "KENSHIN… ENISHI'S ALIVE! ENISHI'S ALIVE! HERE! READ THIS!"

The man practically shoved the letter to him. Reading the short note, he felt anger blind his senses and madness race down his spine. Crumpling the paper in his fist, his knees shook and he finally fell into the ground, form shaking and trembling with anger, anxiety and resentment towards the man who had kidnapped the woman he loved most.

"_KAORUU!"_

_TBC…_

TADA! Enishi's not dead! Good for the ones who had an earlier haunch that he was just planning something… anyway… I hope the others don't get mad at me for resurrecting him and kidnapping our dear sweet Kaoru. It just had to happen ne….?Oh well…If you guys are wondering why Sanosuke was too soft on his Jou-chan… well please remember that he ahd always known that Kaoru was the woman Kenshin ranted about all the days of his life. He practically knew Kaoru very well, though I cannot say vice versa. But we all know Kaoru's such a trusting person ne?

BTW there's a slight comparison with how Kaoru vanished here in my story and in the manga. They tell me she just vanished and etc etc… So go figure.

The more reviews I have… the faster I get to update (Imagine almost a whole week having no new mail)SOB PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!

JA

BLUEROSE


	7. Chapter 7:Sufferings in Torment

Fanfic by Blueroseulan

July 16, 2004

AN: And finally… the second to the last chappie folks! This one would be a bit too long (Hope yah guys don't mind ". anyways… don't forget to review okayish? The more reviews I get, the faster I'll be able to make the epilogue (Wow think about inspiration! Your reviews really inspire me you know!)

Standard Disclaimers apply! RK DOESN'T BELONG TO ME SOB

_Previously on Chapter 6:_

_Instantly, his blood ran cold. Trying to keep his voice steady, he asked the trembling man. "Sanosuke, what happened? What happened to Kaoru? Where is she? Tell me!"_

_The questioned man shook his head. "I don't know! She just collapsed and they just disappeared in some magical powder… I don't know Kenshin! I DON'T KNOW!"_

_Amber eyes widened. "They…? They just disappeared…? What are you saying Sano?"_

_The taller man gripped his shoulders, "KENSHIN… ENISHI'S ALIVE! ENISHI'S ALIVE! HERE! READ THIS!" _

_The man practically shoved the letter to him. Reading the short note, he felt anger blind his senses and madness race down his spine. Crumpling the paper in his fist, his knees shook and he finally fell into the ground, form shaking and trembling with anger, anxiety and resentment towards the man who had kidnapped the woman he loved most._

"_KAORUU!"_

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The white light was much too blinding, causing Kaoru to wake inspite of the tremendous headache she was having. Slowly opening her eyes, she wondered why it hurt so much just to open her eyelids for just a short while. Her body was on fire and it seemed to her that every muscle screamed with each movement she had. Her mind was still in jumbles, her memory foggy and distant, and oblivion still threatened to cloud her senses. Groggy as she was, she could still feel something was wrong, terribly wrong with the way her balance swayed above the ground.

_Where am I…?_

A loud gasp escaped her lips when she gradually tilted her head to see why.

Her wrists and ankles were outstretched as far as they could go and they were each imprisoned in handcuffs that were fastened to the wall. Her position reminded her that of a fly caught unmoving on a spider's deadly web. She was suspended well above the ground and any other movement she made only served to make her sway and feel lightheaded.

_What am I doing here…?_

Biting back a sob, her mind still felt fuzzy and though she tried hard to remember what had happened to her, unclear images of Sanosuke and the battlefield where the only ones to filter her thoughts.

The room was small and shabby. The smell of cigarette reeked in the air and there was almost no light to enter the room. It was dismal and depressing and her position didn't serve as a sweet consolation.

Her wrists ached with the pressure of chained metals and she could tell the skin on that area was growing a quite interesting shade of purple and blue. She would have continued assessing her situation had not the door suddenly swung open revealing a man that caused her to gape and whisper with mixed bewilderment, relief and fear.

"_Enishi…?"_

For awhile he stood unmoving, silent with only his eyes showing how he truly felt. Deliberately, he neared her, creating a thunderous pace in her heart as she silently wondered what he would do.

When he came face to face with her, there was a tense moment, cobalt orbs clashing with silver gray ones and then suddenly, his calloused palm connected against her cheek in one loud slap. Before she could react though, his fist had roughly punched the wide expanse of her stomach making her lose her breath and gasp inspite her pain.

After he had satisfied his sudden urge to hit her, he stood in front of her, arms crossed in a defiant motion lips pulled in a serious frown.

"Kaoru…. My pretty dear wife… we meet again."

His tone was nowhere near sweet or caring. Instead, it was cold, detached and certainly devoid of any humanly emotions she could think of.

"E..Enishi… I thought you were…" she whispered

"Dead." He finished for her. "Yes… everyone thought I was dead… even you and your lover." His last word was punctuated with a certain bile that made Kaoru shudder with fear. "I had to do that you know… but I wasn't so sure everyone would be fooled including you for all the people who knew my capabilities and strength. I thought you would doubt me and of course, I would have done a change of plans… but thanks to you… things went quite easily for Me." he finished with a satisfied devilish grin.

"But… why are you doing this….? Why…?" she murmured, head bowing in shame as tears began to mock her eyes.

"Because…" he started, walking towards her and roughly grasping her squarely in the jaw making her moan and quiver in pain. "this is my revenge… Revenge to you and to the man who stole you from me."

She gasped, "Please… please leave Kenshin away from this… he's got nothing to do between the two of us…"

"Oh but you are wrong Kaoru love." He sardonically whispered in her ear. "The emperor has _everything _to do with this…" Grinning like a mad man, he turned his back against her and started to walk away.

"I can't say that your stay here would be wonderful. In fact I couldn't even call it humane. But don't worry, I wont kill you. Not until the emperor comes anyway."

The door slammed shut, leaving nothing but a cold draft and darkness in the room. Bowing her head in misery, Kaoru allowed the tears to fall and her sobs to escape her lips.

_Kenshin… how I wish I had listened to you…Kenshin… would you come for me…?_

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Settling himself on the dusty floor, Yukishiro Enishi glanced at the man who sat deathly still with a cigarette stick dangling on his lip.

"How's the girl?"

Frowning, Enishi was surprised to see the wolf acting in a civil way. Still, he shrugged his shoulders and answered non-chalantly. "She's in the room. I'm sure Himura would come for her."

The other nodded, taking a deep puff on his cigarette he retorted. "Let's get this clear Yukishiro; I want to eradicate the emperor even if it means killing him in the process. Once I set my sight on him when he comes, I cannot possibly promise you that you could still have the chance to confront him for he is likely to die under my sword."

"Oh but you **_will_** certainly get the chance to fight with him. Though what I ask is that you would hand him to me afterwards. After all, I want to settle his affair with my wife once and for all. I think my objectives are deeper than yours Saitou."

Inwardly, the silver haired man glowered. So, he had been mistaken. The wolf hasn't been taught how to act in a civilized manner afterall. But of course, he couldn't express that in front of the man. Saitou was a real pain, but he would certainly play an important part in his revenge. He would use the wolf's desire in killing the emperor to manipulate the play of events. He would allow Saitou to fight Himura first. But his cards were on the latter. He knew the red head would kill the wolf given the right reasons and Kamiya was reason enough. After he had tired himself and killed Saitou, then, then he would face him and victory would be his.

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She stood unmoving in the dark. Too tired to even lift her head, her muscles cried out in pain and her ankles and wrists had developed a numbed feeling.

True to his words, the way Enishi treated her wasn't anywhere near humane. She had forgotten to keep track of the date, the time… her moments filled with his beatings. He had gotten far more brutal than from what she had seen when he was worst drunk. He would come in her cell, beat her until she was black and blue and sore all over and he would just stop for awhile only to start all over again. _He's insane…_ many a times this words filtered her head when he would just hit her recklessly, his fists landing in different sections of her body.

But at times, he could really _really _get brutal.

Such was the time when he had fancied himself in carving her skin with a sharp knife. Kaoru teared up with the memory of seeing him draw numerous lines with blood all over her body. Some were only shallow, only harrying a slight sting. Some though, were deep and her wounds would continue to bleed even after for a long time.

Such was the time when he came inside the room carrying a burning torch. For a moment she could not comprehend what the hell was he engaging himself to. It was only after he had neared her with the torch in hand did things clicked in her mind.

_Burn torture! Mercy no! Oh god help me…not burn torture… no… Mercy!_

_He had almost set her body aflame after that. Playing the fire against her stomach, the middle part of her kimono caught on fire and she almost collapsed in fear of burning herself. It was a good thing the singed cloth did not scatter all over her body, leaving only her abdomen burnt. For Kaoru, it was better than burning all together. Most of her clothings were torn and burnt and her skin still stung with open burns. _

She could not for one comprehend how deep his anger could go. She couldn't even understand his main reasons for revenge aside from her affair with Kenshin. And if that was his real concern, then he wouldn't her wouldn't he? _Kaoru… stop thinking… just conserve your strength…_True, thinking about Enishi strained her mind and put far too much pressure on her brain. Her strength was running out. Her wounds weren't healing and she was starting to lose too much blood. And that only her physical problem. Her emotions were much into turmoil right now. The panic and alarm she always experienced and the mere thought of hovering in a thin line between life and death… the excruciating pain that accompanied every wound and beatings… she was powerless to stop it.

_Kenshin… can you hear me…? Are you coming for me Kenshin…? I guess not… I have failed you and I have lost your trust…I guess this is the price I have to pay in disobeying you… Maybe I really deserve this… But I wish you could find the ehart to forgive me… remember that… I love you… forever I'll always do…_

With these thoughts, tears raced down towards her blood smudged cheeks and finally, her head sunk back in the darkness of the room.

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_Kenshin… _

Jolted out in his reverie, he thought he heard Kaoru's voice. Standing up, he strode towards the balcony and peered outside.

_Tomorrow… tomorrow I would finally see her…_

Three days. Enishi had given him three days. And tomorrow he would come to save the woman who held a special place in his heart. Sanosuke had told him everything… from her means of escape to her reaction in the battlefield. He was furious not only at her, but at Sanosuke as well. He treated the man as his own brother, his own blood and yet, he had betrayed the emperor by even accompanying Kaoru outside the palace. He didn't want to put the entire blame on Sanosuke, but in some certain points, he was inclined to do so. No matter how unfair it seemed to be.

But of course, love won over madness.

If he would be given another chance to see Kaoru, he would gladly forget her disobedience and foolishness. He would forget that his world had suddenly turned upside down with the madness her disappearance dealt him. Gladly he would forget. Gladly he would do so. If only he could still find her alive…if only…

He could not sleep. Seemingly counting the minutes that ticked on. His mind was filled with thoughts of her and tactics on how he would fight Enishi. Surely, the man also had tricks up on his sleeves. And with what Sanosuke had told him, he was almost certain the officer was likely to use different attacks.

A few more minutes and it would be midnight.

A few more moments and the sun would rise.

A little more and noon would transpire.

Darkness would soon cloak the sky.

The moment the clock struck ten, the red haired man rose, donned a black gi and a white hakama, tied his hair in a high pony tail, slid his katana into its saba and left the room.

_Tonight…everything will fall…_

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_It's time…_ gazing at his watch, Enishi grinned. Tonight, victory would be his. His plans were all laid out. Saitou would be the first one to greet the emperor, and of course, their fight would be the first spectacle. If the man was lucky enough to survive the wolf, he would proceed to Kaoru's cell where they would duel.

A loud crash reverberated on the whole house. Smirking, he cocked his head. _Himura has come… that must be Saitou fighting with him._

The loud clangs of metal against metal and slides of swords echoed here and there and the loud shouts of charges only served to amuse Enishi. Everybody was a fool. Even Saitou was a fool. Can't they see? He's merely playing with them, like chess pieces manipulated by players. It was too easy to depict who the winner was. The only question was how long would this game last?

The moments seemed to wage on. Gray eyes were only focused on the door, waiting for it to burst open. When it _did, _ Enishi stood up, glad to see that the light silhouetted a short frame of a man with a long red mane. A smile of sardonic satisfaction traced his crooked lips.

"I greet you good evening.. **_Your highness…_**" he bowed with mock respect.

"Where is she!"

The younger man frowned. "Oh… touché aren't we? Oh well, we'll see about that. Anyways, come, if you really insist on seeing her… though I would have to warn you she isn't a pretty sight to see."

Kenshin gritted his teeth. The man was insane! But he had to control his anger. He would have to see that Kaoru was safe, before he killed Enishi. Killing was against his ideals, but Enishi was of course an exception. He had thought about that for a long time.

The Shinsen headquarter was small and yet, different oaths lead to different rooms and parts of the house. _A typical house for a typical wolf…_ Stopping slightly, a hand came to grasp the bleeding wound on his side. _Goddamn you Saitou… it was a good thing I got out of our fight with this and a couple of bruises. You were lucky you struck me once. Nevertheless, it just goes to show that the dragon will always be stronger than the wolf._

Enishi stopped in front of a dark room with not even a small candle giving light. Grabbing the lamp that stood beside the door, with a key he twisted open the door.

For a moment he could not see a thing, the darkness obscuring his vision. But there was a morose odor that seemed to dance in the room. A scent of blood and burnt flesh. Before he had any time to react though, the light of the lamp filtered through out the whole room and his lips emitted a loud shocked gasp, an unholy sight meeting his eyes urging him to take a step back.

"**_Your majesty, I am proud to show you my wife Yukishiro Kaoru."_**

With the sound of her name, the sunken head pitifully lifted itself up.

_No…Kaoru… No… _Whatever words he had any plans on saying disappeared right through his throat. Her vision would remain forever etched in his mind, would forever seek to haunt his every sleep. She was suspended in the air, Wrists and ankles handcuffed with her whole form suspended in the air. Her clothings were bloody, torn and tattered. Her inky locks, jet black as it once was, was now matted with sweat and blood, forming thicking clumps. Her kimono gaped open, revealing once creamy skin turned into a patchwork of burns. There was so much blood, so much wounds that he almost gagged with the sight. What the last straw was though was when she lifted her head and he saw her indigo eyes, once vibrant and cheerful, now reduced to mere dull and lifeless black pools.

"Release her… release her… release her and fight me!" he shouted with desperation. He was shaking with anger and fear. Fear that she would not live through her wounds. Strangely though, Enishi moved to pull a lever situated across the far wall. Immediately, the handcuffs broke open and Kaoru fell in the emperor's arms, as limp as a rag doll.

"_KAORU! KAORU! IT'S ME… KENSHIN… KAORU… PLEASE OPEN YOUR EYES FOR ME…PLEASE…OH LOVE!"_

The empty black pools that stared right through him, closed, and then opened revealing cloudy sapphire orbs in its stead.

"_Ke…Ken…shin…Ken…shin…"_ she whispered, his name escaping into broken syllabus. A calloused finger gently came atop her lips.

"_Hush… don't speak… conserve your strength…" _he murmured, careful not to aggravate her pain with his hold.

With all her strength, she rolled her head in one side. _"I… I'm sorry… go…me…nasai…"_

He shook his head, trying to dismiss the tears in his eyes. "No… there's nothing to forgive…there's nothing to forgive…"

He would have continued comforting her, had he not seen the smirking form of Enishi. At once, his blood seemed to boil, anger singing in his senses.

"_YOU!"_

The arrogant leer pasted on the mad man's face only served to fuel his anger more. Carefully lifting Kaoru, he set her beside the wall seeing to it that she wouldn't get hurt whenever a fight began.

And fight they did.

Shouts of their kiai resounded in the room as their swords clanged heavily against one another. Dull sapphire eyes slowly began to open as she watched with silent trepidation the fight between the two most significant men in her life. She knew that Kenshin was a skilled warrior. Having been trained by none other than Hiko Seijurou himself under the Hiten Mitsurugi School only worked for his advantage. His father had also seen to it that he study other techniques in far flung countries.

But she also knew Enishi.

She also knew that the man practiced Chinese Martial Arts. That his skills were well praised in the country. She had seen him train, shattering a large old tree with a single blow. Though she would like to say that Kenshin would easily win, on the other hand, she was aware that Enishi wasn't going down without a fight.

Kenshin was the first to fall.

She opened her mouth to scream and yet not a single sound would come out. With one shoulder wounded, it was easy to see his blood soaking through his black gi. Another thing caught her sight, he had been wounded on his side and blood was still there. Dread continued to mount her heart. _If this fight doesn't end soon… I don't think Kenshin could make it…_

"_Hiten Misturugi Ryuu Sou Ryuu Sen!"_

"_Watou ichimonjuku!"_

"_Kuzu Ryuu Sen!"_

Up to the last, the match was still fairly undecided. She could tell that Enishi's wounds were also catching up on him. The man was still precise, but a bit slower, guarded and yet only a bit sluggish. They continued to fight one another until the duel was no more than a battle of will and not of strength. Blood was everywhere and Kaoru concluded that the first to fall to the ground will ultimately lose the fight.

She watch with shock and desperation the man with the flaming red hair collapse to the stone cold ground and remain unmoving, saw blood spurt from out of the corner of his lips…

_No…This can't be true… No…_ Out of despair and hopelessness she began to drag herself towards the fallen man, ignoring the terrible pain and amount of blood that seeped out from her wounds. Her only objective was to reach the man that and nothing else.

"**_Victory is mine. You are all a bunch of fools. I have used and manipulated you in my little game so that everyone of you will fall, and of course, Yukishiro Enishi will rise to fame and power. Everybody will regard of me as the hero who found the emperor dead and bathed in his own blood… I thank you for participating in my own game. However…" he stopped, regained his sword stance and prepared to strike, "I must make sure that the emperor is eliminated… first."_**

With that, the man rushed towards the unmoving body on the floor. Victory was sure for him. He had triumphed and his plans had ultimately succeeded. And yet, as he plunged his sword, he stopped for something had connected to his body as well.

It was the _woman _he had hit and not his true target. He had realized it a mere second too late when the sword entered his chest. The woman had shielded the emperor from his attack and plunged the man's own katana in his torso. In return, Enishi's sword had stabbed her cleanly at the side, a gaping whole evident form the sudden blow. He was a second too late, his error proving to be a fatal mistake as he fell to the ground, mind still in shock with the sudden twist of events. _I thought I had everything controlled… How did that happen…? I don't… under—_ and everything became black.

He had seen everything. From Enishi's final attack to Kaoru's sudden stance between the two of them. As stun and bewilderment shot to his senses, he heard the sickening collide of metal against flesh. Forgetting his own pain, he rushed to catch Kaoru's fallen form, both of their visions clouded by their own tears.

"_Kaoru! Kaoru!" _he croaked, voice already constricted with the sobs that threatened to escape his throat. In response, a bloody hand crept to touch his cheek, smudging the rounded skin with the metallic liquid. He leaned to her touch, like a desperate animal seeking for the touch of its own master and a small weakened smile blossomed from her lips.

"_Ai…shi…terru…"_

_No…No… Not like this… Her life won't end like this!_ Shaking his head, he carefully lifted her in his arms, and started to leave the bloody room, fully intending to return back to the imperial palace when a loud whistle stopped him.

"OI KENSHIN!"

The voice sounded utterly familiar and he caught sight of Sanosuke with a lady standing beside him that he could vaguely recognize as Megumi. There was a carriage behind them and relief seemed to crash upon him like a wave.

Rushing towards the man with an unmoving bundle in his arms, Sanosuke assisted both of them in the carriage as Megumi grew pale with the sight of so many bloody wounds. Her shock lasted only for a mere few moments though, for she started to fuss all over the woman bathed in her own blood. Even with his wounds painfully creaking with each movement, he convinced the doctor that the other's wounds were more fatal than his and she therefore needed more of her attention. Wounded as he was, the emperor could just sit and watch with hopeless amber eyes.

_Kaoru… please... live… live for me… Please… don't die on me Kaoru…Not now… Not now that we could live together…_

_TBC…_

Tut tut… Will this story be a happy ending? I don't know (smiles slyly) it all depends on the reviews you know… MWAHAHA! I'm so like evil! Anyways, I thought wording Kenshin's fight with Saitou was cool but a tad bit long. Not to mention his fight with Enishi. And I suck at fighting scenes. You guys may just end up flaming me! I swear! So… I guess we're all happy ne? (Hope yah guys don't get mad I'm a softie

On to the last chappie!

JA!

BLUEROSE


	8. Chapter 8: A balm in Torment EPILOGUE

Fanfic by Blueroseulan

July 18, 2004

Author's notes: Finally! The last chappie! I hope everyone would review and tell me what they think! Will Kaoru live? (wink wink ) Anyways… I wannna thank you guys for spending time on reading my fic… and oh, before I forget, I wouldn't put my kudos here in the last chapter; there's a separate chappie only for That. So, finish this one, and find (hopefully) your name in the next

_Previously on Chapter 7:_

_Rushing towards the man with an unmoving bundle in his arms, Sanosuke assisted both of them in the carriage as Megumi grew pale with the sight of so many bloody wounds. Her shock lasted only for a mere few moments though, for she started to fuss all over the woman bathed in her own blood. Even with his wounds painfully creaking with each movement, he convinced the doctor that the other's wounds were more fatal than his and she therefore needed more of her attention. Wounded as he was, the emperor could just sit and watch with hopeless amber eyes. _

_Kaoru… please... live… live for me… Please… don't die on me Kaoru…Not now… Not now that we could live together…_

_CHAPTER 8_

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The castle's infirmary was not at all poorly equipped as much of the villagers overly thought so. The emperor had seen to it that his servants were well taken of and had purchased different medical equipments, each ranging from different parts of the world be it tribal or western and had trusted its proper care and use for the resident doctor living in the imperial palace herself. Sensei Megumi Takani.

The scent of Chinese herbs as well as different indie spices floated around the room. Thick medical books and news articles related to such lined the far wall together with numerous rows of different medicines and remedies serving different purposes. Everything had a place. Even the small quills and pens the doctor used in writing recommendations had one. Her floors sparkled clean and her operating room never reeked of stale blood. Being a self proclaimed neat freak, the doctor had personally seen to that.

Now, all those foolish notions were cast aside. Thoughts of cleanliness and well polished floors were on the least of her list. As Sanosuke and another guard half dragged-half carried their bleeding emperor who had insisted on carrying the girl as well, Megumi spared her bloody floorings one last pitiful look, and had busied herself with her patients.

The emperor had insisted that she treat the girl first. Torn between her sense of urgency to treat the most important man in the land and the strict commanding tone of his voice, the latter won, seeing that the girl was in a poorer state. Instead of arguing some more, she had just merely asked him to sit down and allow Tsubame, the young servant girl to at least cleanse his wounds. A request that he finally obeyed.

With pale skillful hands, the doctor began to work, first of all undressing the raven haired girl that lay unconscious on her operating table. Making a quick assessment of her situation, an ebon eyebrow rose to find the half naked emperor, (the poor man was without his gi) standing beside her, eyes trained over the body of the woman. She knew that the lady had somewhat forged a bond between the emperor and she recognized her face that of which she had treated before, the woman she had concluded as Enishi's battered wife. With the final thoughts of indecency and impropriety cast aside, she immersed her hands in hot water and started to clean the woman's bloody wounds.

_My gods… will she still live? _These thoughts were running freely all over his mind as his eyes registered for the first times the number of fatalities Enishi had been animalistic enough to lay on his woman. He had never seen so many wounds in his own life. Scars here and there adorned her once smooth skin. Some were shallow, some still bled. He also knew she had undergone burn torture, for the flesh in her abdomen and in some parts of her shoulders were smoldered and blackened, a clear liquid salivating from it making him feel sick. Contusions and angry dark bruises were scattered on her face trailing below her neckline up to her arms. Her wrists and ankles were more than a hemorrhaging purplish red, a sign of blood staying under the pressure of the heavy handcuffs that had her suspended in the air. A gaping hole was on her side, a twin of his, but more fatal. He could see that Enishi's sword had clearly penetrated her body and his sword had pierced her side in a way that could prove as her own death. He could only wish that her vital organs had not been affected by his attack. Seeing her wounds made him sick and he could only wish that Enishi would live again so he could go up and kill him once more.

"Himura-sama…"

Slightly jolted from his reverie, he cocked his head to find the timid brown haired girl standing beside him, hands carrying a basin of hot water, a towel hanging limply on her arm.

"Megumi-sensei asked me to clean your wounds…" she trailed off, afraid that the emperor would grow mad. But instead, he followed her and sat on one of the beds, allowing the hot liquid to run over his wounds and wincing in the process. He felt warm hands gently smoothing bandages over his side and a feeling of heaviness seemed to envelope his droopy eyelids. Allowing his head to hit the pillow, he rationalized that it must have been fatigue and stress that had him feeling so tired all of a sudden. _Just a nap… only for a few minutes and I'll watch over Kaoru… just a few minutes…_ Closing his eyes, though his mind unconsciously hammered at him to watch over Kaoru, he unwillingly slipped in the arms of sleep, his world becoming far and black in an instant.

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He woke up with sunlight streaming on his face. Suddenly jolted awake, a hand automatically came to grasp his aching shoulders as he tried to recall what had happened.

His _nap _had turned out to be a seven hour sleep. Wondering what had gotten him into a restful slumber in the first place while the love of his life lay dying on an operating bed, he quickly donned the yukata that sat on the edge of the bed and inched his way towards the 'imperial suite' Megumi had only for him in her infirmary. He had asked Kaoru to be placed on his bed, never mind if he slept on the common ones, and he knew the doctor would comply. Sliding the shouji door his eyes stared thoughtfully on the form that lay restless and feverish on the bed.

_Kaoru…_

Whispering her name, he neared her, seating himself beside her and grasping her pale clammy hands. She looked far better than how she did the first time they brought her in the infirmary. Her face was clean, albeit the numerous scars and bruises, for the blood were gone. She was bandaged form neck down and several bottles of salves and medical creams stood lining a small table. Kenshin however, took no notice of these as he faithfully sat on her side, mind occupied with the past events that seemed to fly.

How long has it been since this affair started? _Forever…_ his mind seems to whisper. Kaoru had always been a fixed part of his life. Wherever he may be… a connection had been forged between them, even before he became emperor and that was quite some time.

But time and fate proved to be dirty players, for she had slipped off from his hands. Marrying Enishi was the most stupid thing to do, for him, for the man had her caged. Somewhere along the line she had lost not only a part of her self respect but she had also achieved a large dark void in her heart. A void, which she had admitted to him a time they lay quietly together, only he could fill.

His happiness was only short lived though, for Enishi had come back for his revenge. Using Kaoru to manipulate everyone, he had planned his disappearance far too well to know easily how they would react. Like a puppeteer playing with his own mannequins, he had anticipated the play of events well.

But that was now the past. He had the present and the future to look up to.

But how could he have a future if Kaoru's life was still teetering over the thin line between life and death?

_STOP YOURSELF!_

He closed his eyes, assumed that the voice was merely his subconscious and willed himself to stop thinking of Kaoru's death. Stop now and never think of it. Never ever. Nodding his head in agreement, once again, he felt his eyelids droop. _Something's with me… maybe it's the medicine Megumi must have given me… I want to sleep… but there's so many work to do… Oh well… Sanosuke will take care of it… for now… _For now, he settled himself beside her in a position that his head was buried in the link of their hands. Still slightly sore with his wounds, he preferred this position rather than sleeping in a comfortable bed, but a room's apart from her.

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"Oi fox, how's Jou-chan doing?"

The said 'fox' looked above the stack of medical paperwork to stare directly towards the lanky man that leaned on her table. Groaning inwardly, she regarded the man with much more irritation. A distraction was the least she needed now especially that there were so many things to do, so many papers to sign…

"Jou-chan? You mean the woman with the emperor…?" she asked dismissively, not caring to look at her companion while she busily signed another certificate for medication. _What's with certificates these days? Everybody wants one…_

"Aye that's the bird. How is she?" he asked.

She frowned, looking up, she met his gaze. "Not too well if I have to say so. You were there when we rescued them. You saw how in a bad shape she was."

The older man shook his head and tsked. "I know. The emperor's 'been keepin' watch over her. Speaking of which, how about his wounds?" his tone was gruff, but nevertheless transparent enough for her to see the underlying worry that laced his words.

"He's fine. I've seen his wounds. Deep but not too much fatal." Her answer brought a flood of relief in his face and Megumi felt better for it. "You should really stop worrying about him though, it doesn't match with your macho ego." She teased as an after thought allowing a smirk to tug at his lips.

"Oi, I'm not gay, if that's what you're thinkin' of woman." He frowned, managing to make her laugh aloud.

"Prove it."

His eyes widened. Suddenly taken aback with her sudden challenge, his mind quickly spun in scatter brained confusion. A victorious smile lit her face followed by a smirk. "I see… someone here's having an identical cri—mfff"

In an instant, his lips had covered hers; muffling any coherent word she might think of saying. He quickly withdrew though, afraid that a rejection may might as well come his way. When none came, he flashed her a look and was surprised when she licked her lips.

"I didn't know you love kisses fox." He muttered, trying hard to disperse the thick atmosphere that suddenly seemed to form between the two of them.

"Only if it comes from you."

_Hey… she's really foxy…_ And finally, the tension began to fade, buffered by relief and a bit of romanticism. Romance was undeniably there, though both tried to dodge at the fact. Seemingly like two unpracticed teenagers tiptoeing in the notion of love. Her dare and his kiss had suddenly opened a world of opportunities for both of them.

"S-so… I guess you're a man after all…" she mumbled, cheeks suddenly turning an instant shade of red. He laughed, made a gesture of tipping his hat though he wore none and slowly moved towards the door.

"You knew it before. You were just waiting for me to prove it."

And so he left the room, leaving a doctor stunned, angered, and woozy and romanticized all at the same time with the man's words. Turning back to her paperwork, thoughts of medical certificates were now cast aside, replaced by tender thoughts about a man with a lanky built who had just proven his manhood and certainly his affection with just a single kiss.

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The candle wick was slowly growing shorter, the light deliberately dimming. Night had fallen but he had continually kept his watch despite the numerous doctor orders he had gotten.

_How could I rest if she lays here weak?_

True, Kaoru's condition had not improved. Fevers and chills continually racked her body and she continued fighting death. Sometimes, in the dark of a night, death would seem to overpower her and she would cease from breathing. But he was always there to call her back, his hold on her deathly tight as she struggled to take in gulps of air. Finally, after days of battling with sickness, Kaoru had slipped into a coma. At this point, the doctor had said it was a good thing for her body was slowly starting to utilize its own defense mechanism. The only question was, if and when would she wake up.

For his own part, Kenshin was a bit glad for the turn of events. The time before her coma was the worst on his list. The emotional rollercoaster of losing the one you love most, every night would have been too much for him to bear. And besides, with her state, it almost seemed that she was only slumbering, with the fevers and chills now gone, the emperor could bit by bit regain his duties.

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The days seem to pass. Slowly, everyone had resumed their normal routines. Like particles slowly starting to settle on the bottom of a clear glass, the lives of everyone begun to normalize again, blanketed with the safe security that no one would be likely as to inflict any kind of harm from now on.

Only one person seemed totally oblivious with the rustle in the imperial palace. One person lay hidden and obscured form any living soul save for a number of four that traded watches with one another to watch over her still form. Time had since flown form their grasp. Her period of absence was unmeasured, but it very well left a mark in one of the person's heart. Day and night he would come to sit beside her, grasp her hand and will for her to wake for in doing so, and then he would finally feel complete. Day and night the other three watched him with pitiful eyes as they recounted how doomed those two lovers were and how they'd wish their ending wouldn't be so much of a tragedy.

But only time held her life right now. Time and fate.

One particular night, he sat beside her, amethyst eyes gazing at her still form. Tomorrow… tomorrow would mark the first year mark of Enishi's death. First year… it only meant that Kaoru had fallen into a coma for roughly a year…

_So long…_

So long… so long since he had last seen her beautiful sapphire orbs… so long since he had caressed her warm cheek… so long… so long… he closed his eyes, willing his tears to stop from falling. He had long since learned that crying would do nothing. It would serve no purpose as to bring her back. If it _did, _then he would have gladly cried all his bodily fluids out for her to rouse form her sleep.

But it was all too much. The unfairness of their situation only made his soul sink deeper in the pit of depression. They had done no wrong, and though it sounded too corny, like those of what he had read on novels, he was forced to make a conclusion that they made a mistake by loving one another too much.

Another irony that stirred bile in his heart was the fact that she had saved him. It was supposed to be the other way around but still, it had ended up, she taking the blow for him. The attack was meant for him, meant to give him death as a bittersweet reminder that he had again failed to protect the woman that meant his life…He wanted to blame her for being so unselfish… for loving him so unselfishly… but he couldn't… for he knew he would have done the same given the reversed circumstances.

Throughout his sobs, faintly, he heard a low moan… head automatically whipping to its owner, amethyst eyes widened to find hazy and cloudy cerulean gems slowly starting to open to gaze with his.

"_K-Kaoru…?" _he asked, voice cracking with uncertainty. Hesitation filling his awe-laden brain that this might just be a dream.

In response, a small smile slowly lit her lips.

It was the most beautiful thing he had seen in his entire life.

The words he had been planning and rehearsing to say the moment she woke up, all but came out in his sudden dry lips. But it was alright, a reaction understood and called for. No words were needed… seeing her awake was more than a sign that she would live and as he carefully but tightly held her form, his own trembling and shaking with slamming euphoria, he suddenly realized that everything will be alright… everything will turn out fine…

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Though Kaoru had woken up a few number of times, she was still weak as a reed and could still not get out of bed. The emperor all the more kept his watch beside her, glad to see her roused in her year long coma. It was a miracle, and while he had daunted time and fate for playing unfairly, it was only now that he realized that in the end, they had relented and handed Kaoru back to him.

It was a dark and starry night. He left no lamp light, knowing that his companion wouldn't mind and instead opted to open the doors of his balcony to allow the moonlight to stream in. Leaving his post for awhile, he followed his footsteps that led to the stoned terrace. Leaning his form in the railings, a sudden wave of relief, tension, melancholy and thankfulness seemed to envelope him whole and he found himself shaking with the silent sobs he tried to so hard to conceal. One by one, tears fell to wet the cold slab of stone but he didn't seem to mind…

A tear fell because he was utterly filled with relief that she was alive…

A tear fell because it still felt utterly unfair that she had just woken up only now… why only now… time had gone past their hands…

A tear fell because he missed her so much… missed her touch… missed her quiet reassurance…

A tear fell because the waves of tension and the heaviness his duties imposed seemed to crash down his shoulders…

He wept, totally oblivious to his surroundings as he became involved in his own dark world. Oblivion was fast shrouding his sight… he would have succumbed to the dark bare hands of madness had he not felt the gentle slipping of warm arms around his chest. He would have had lost it, had he not felt the gentle press of a face on the slumped posture of his back. At once, everything seemed to clear, his posture grew rigid and his body became tense.

_So long… I have waited for this for so long…_

Turning to face her, his body still felt stoned with tension and bewilderment. When he made no move to hold her, she frowned, mock pouted, and in still a raspy voice whispered:

"_Mou… Is that your way of telling me how much you've missed me…?"_

When still he made no move to touch her, she reached out. "_Kenshin…?" _Uncertainty ate her voice.

With the sound of his name his head whipped and in a flurry of motions, he suddenly snatched her form, for once ignoring the fact that she was whimpering form the tightness of his hold, wrapped his arms around her bony form and buried his face in the fall of her hair, never wanting to let go and holding her just like what a sinking man would do to a ply of wood.

"_So long… I've waited for you for so long…"_ he whispered, disregarding the fact that both of them where shaking with the sudden slam of emotions. Crushing her lips with his, he drank on her kiss, like that of a starved man left to die alone.

"_I missed you…" _she breathed, eyes moistening with the thought of having been away for so long.

"_And I missed you too…" _he answered, his embrace all the more tightening. For a while they both stood there, deathly still like two statues molded into one, bathed in the streaming moonlight. Words were far too ineloquent to express how they really felt for one another…no one made a move neither to go inside… nor to remember that the other was still recuperating and therefore needs her rest. Nothing else was thought about. Nothing. Only their need to touch and feel the other was all that mattered.

_EPILOGUE_

Megumi sighed. After a whole day of playing with Sanosuke and her son Shiroisuke in the forest stream, the imperial prince had finally caught flu. This of course, much to her chagrin.

_Those idiots… I told them not to join Kenji in their stupid antics… oh one of these days I would just wake up to find my hair gray… _Sighing once again, she continued walking until she reached the far end of the hallway. Knocking slightly on the door, she opened it to find a woman wearing a red silken kimono with her long hair tied in a neat bun sitting beside the feverish child, her face etched with worry.

"Megumi-san…" she bowed as she acknowledged the doctor's presence. Bowing in return, the said woman could only notice the dark rings that had formed on the other's eyes.

"Kaoru… it's only a flu… don't get too much worried okay. Kenji will get well soon. It's just flu."

"She's right."

Head whipping towards the familiar voice, anxious sapphire eyes met gentle amethyst ones. His face was serene and peaceful, a total contrast to her own. She spared her child a final look of distress before she smiled, allowing her tension to seep away.

"Here. Give these to Kenji-kun every after four hours. This ought to make his fever go down." The doctor said decisively. Nodding in agreement and gratefulness, she watched as the slender woman exited out of the room.

"Love… do stop worrying about Kenji." He murmured in her ear.

"But I can't help it…" she replied, absent-mindedly tucking a stray strand of hair back in its place. He smiled gently, warmed with the thought of her concern with his child. _Their child._

"Come love. There's no use in worrying. Take a rest… it would do you good." He suggested, smoothing a hand over Kenji's feverish forehead. "I see… Megumi's medicine really is effective."

Smiling, she allowed him to lead her out of the room and towards the one adjacent to it. Changing in a summer yukata, she quickly snuggled beside him in bed and tucked her face in the crook of his shoulder.

Sighing in contentment, he watched as the love of his life slowly succumbed to sleep. Now, he was totally complete. Truly totally complete. For five years he had been married to Kaoru. And it wasn't an affair... from then on she had become his legalized empress and though the title never ceased to amaze her… she had learned to live with it. And Kenji… in the course of their marriage, she had managed to bear him a son, a son that mirrored his exact same features, save the blue eyes… and the one that would live to succeed his throne.

_Now… I am complete… there is nothing more that I could ask… the gods have given me everything I could possibly want in my life… my wife and my child… and with all my strength… I promise to protect them even so at the beck of my own life…_

He stole one last look to his slumbering wife, whispered a soft 'Aishiterru', smiled and finally closed his eyes to join her in her dreams.

_**OWARI**_

_**AN:**_

_**Its finished! Its finished! Its finally finally finished! (prances around like a mad man)**_

_**Aww… I couldn't resist putting a light SanoMeg fluff scene right in the middle of this story! It was a spur of a moment kind of idea for me so I'm sorry if it sounded corny… I just hope those SanoMeg lovers out there appreciated it!**_

_**Shiroisuke was a character I made… in the manga, Sano and Megumi doesn't end up being married much more having a child of their own!**_

_**I'm so evil! MWAHAHA! I put Kaoru asleep for one whole year! (Wait… is this a sleeping beauty type of story or something?)**_

_**Anyways, I'm feeling glad and sad with the end of this fic (sobs). I hope you guys continue to review my other fics! Yah guys are the best! Go to the next chappie and see my kudos in there. (hopefully, you'll see your names)**_

_**Thanx!**_

_**JA!  
BLUEROSE**_


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